The past is remembered. Live in the moment. The future is in you.
-Mike Caceres, who is a blogger, hiker, and traveler
I saw a romantic comedy movie, "Crazy Rich Asians." I watched it back-to-back. (The night, and the morning after.) The movie is about an Asian American lady visiting her rich boyfriend's family in Singapore for the first time. It explains the cultural differences. Most of its scenes relate to my life as an Asian American. (My parents are Filipino. I was born and raised in America.)
Since I watched this superb film, I am writing about this blog entry, "L-O-V-E."
Love is just a 1-syllable, and 4-letter word. L-O-V-E. Truly, love has many definitions to it. We each have a heart. That is LOVE.
To keep it simple, I will explain my meaning of "love" to my future girlfriend. (Yuh, I have already written two letters to my future girlfriend, "A Letter to Her," and "Another Letter to Her.")
- Unconditional love.
- A huge sacrifice, commitment, and dedication.
- A travel buddy once told me, "You gotta love yourself first, in order to love her (or anybody else.)"
- Empathy. We are human. We have feelings. Patiently listen to her. It's not always about me. (For instance, I feel really hurt when I see her crying. I am concerned.)
- Acceptance. (I love her for her. I cannot change her for who I want her to be. Go with what she wants. It's her choice. It's her life.)
- Imperfect. Arguments are gonna happen. It is a challenge.
- Resolving arguments together. (Forgive and forget is unhealthy. Just forgetting about arguments is heartless. Buying her a gift to resolve the argument is even horrible.)
- No such thing as "easy love," unless pay for sex. That is easy way in, easy way out. No problems, no arguments. (I should not be in a relationship, if I just want this.)
- Sexual intimacy. (It is more than just sex. More loved, more selfless, and more closer together.)
- Respecting my lady. I would not abuse her in any way physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Being open (and comfortable) with each other. No secrets. (If I have a problem with her, I will let her know. I would not talk behind her back, or else I am a coward.)
- Giving her space. (Go ahead. I do not own her.)
- Trusting her, even when she is away from me. (Honesty is very important.)
- Understanding her, and making adjustments.
- Remembering and celebrating the important dates together, such as her birthday, and our anniversary. (I cherish moments and memories with her. Most importantly, it is her "presence," not her "presents.")
- Falling in love, and staying in love. (The excitement, and commitment.)
- Dynamic duo together. Growing together through thick and thin. We decide together as a team. (No "I." It is us.)
I love her. She will read this when the time comes. We shall see.
In a nice way, I was telling him stories. I was talking about his problems. He was truly offended by my honesty.
As he raised his voice, he told me, "You are telling me that I am a messed up person!"
I answered nicely, "I am a messed up person. Nobody is perfect. I am a slow-bloomer for everything, such as finding a job. I care about you."
I witnessed his face of hatred. I could not even imagine. The person was extremely intense with his sharp eyes. He became more angry as he yelled more, while he was breathing heavily. He stared at me down, while I calmly looked at his hatred face.
My younger-self would have fought back, but it would not have solved anything. It would just get worst. Instead, I kept calm. He stopped.
A day later, I told the person with the hatred face, "I love you." I looked at his eyes when I said it to him. Apparently, he never looked at me. He just walked away.
A few days ago, I witnessed another face of hatred. She gave a wicked stare at her enemy.
Is it worth fighting for? Is it worth having enemies? Is this worth your time and energy?
I used to have a big ego, and a huge sense of pride.
Imagine if I am able to see my face of hatred before.
I am at peace now. I have no more enemies. I retire from holding grudges.
I feel very relieved than ever before.
We just don’t know.
So far, I have experienced a lot from it in traveling. I met a lot of people in China and in the Philippines. I have built meaningful relationships.
It is impossible to remain in contact with everybody. Also, it is impossible to please everybody. (I cannot greet a happy birthday to each of my Facebook friends.)
Things can change. Things do not normally go according to plan. This ain't a movie. Expectation is what we want, but this is reality.
For instance, I met a girl in Shanghai. We went on a few dates. I believe we had a spark. Now, we only contact each other here and there. It is understanding. We live far away from each other. Also, she is 15 hours ahead of me.
Also, I went on a few dates with a girl in the Philippines.
Imagine if I visited one of them again. Things can change. Who knows? I cannot read the future.
It goes with the saying, "Live in the moment." That moment with her. That was a spark.
People grow apart from each other. I cannot control the outcome.
No real answer in life. Things will just happen.
I visited family from the Philippines on June 1 - 30.
(MOM's side - San Carlos City, Pangasinan. DAD's side - Milaor, Bicol)
I also went to Naga City, Baguio, Quezon City, and Angeles City.
I mostly stayed with family. First and foremost, I saved a lot of money in lodging.
I learned a lot. No whining, no complaining. Just living the lifestyle.
I have many stories to talk about. It is impossible to cover all of them. I will try to make each story short. (In no particular order whatsoever.
I decided to write a short rap song. (Yuh, mix it up.)
During my recent Philippines trip, I was more comfortable to rap than sing on karaoke nights.
Video shown below of me rapping for the first time. My written lyrics are shown below as well.
Free rap beat courtesy from Free Music Archive. (It has a bit of a low beat in background. Oh, well.)
“Senorita” by Audiobinger.
Identity reminds me of Lewis Howes’ book, “The Mask of Masculinity.”
One identity, one image forever. Bad identity, bad image forever. We stay away from them.
Stories written below are about my family and friends.
My uncle tragically killed my sister. Everybody ignored him. (Identity is killer.) Possibly, his life was taken over from loneliness. Unconditional love is powerful. (No support, no life.)
A drug addict has taken meth his whole life. His family have left him, except his loving son. (Identity is drug addict.) Most importantly, he has been clean from drugs, since 2016.
2 years ago, I was lonely. Social media took over me. It was close to Christmas. I saw happy social media posts with their loved ones. I am a single, lonely guy. I was depressed. (Last time was when my sister passed away on May 17, 2003.)
I realized that social media is usually the highlight reel of people's lives.
I was lonely. Well, this is nothing compared to the story about loneliness. Go on, and read.
I will tell you a true story about loneliness.
I hear many stories from people.
Call myself a good listener.
One time, I heard somebody’s side of the story. He vented to me about a family situation.
All I told him, “You are going with what you want, while the other side is going with what they want. Everybody is on a different page. This will be ongoing, then.”
I am not really successful in going for the first kiss on my first date with lady. I struggle at it.
Then again, it is in my head.
One of my good friends recently told me something like, “Connect is great, but there has to be a balance. Connect emotionally, and especially, physically.”
I agree with what he said.
Currently, I have no problem in connecting with a lady emotionally.
I have asked many people, “Should I always go for the first kiss on first date?”
Their answers varied.
Here is the list:
During my 43-day span in China, I visited Beijing, Shanghai, and Hong Kong. Shanghai was my home.
April 3-8: Beijing
April 8 - May 9: Shanghai
May 9-15: Hong Kong
May 15-16: Beijing
May 16: Fly back home
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