The mind is "complex."
It keeps running until I die.
Writing a blog post about it is "incomplete."
Well, here it goes.
Now, I am thinking about writing whatever is at the top of my head.
To this day, I have negative thoughts in my head. They come and go.
Before, the mind would completely take over me.
For instance, if I had a bad day, I would scapegoat. I would use all my anger to everybody else near me. Then, I would completely shut myself down.
Another thought in my mind.
I never trusted my jump shot in basketball. I have confidence in it now. Before I would beat myself up, every time I missed a jump shot.
Now, I tell myself, "I am alive and breathing."
If it gets worst, I take 3 deep breaths. Every time my mind is all shaken up on something, I do that. (Find an alternative instead of worrying about the situation.)
Again, the mind has thoughts in my head.
I used to like social media attention, such as growing followers, getting likes, receiving comments, and etc.
Now, it is okay. I enjoy blogging, hiking, and traveling. If I ever get famous, that is a kudos. Most importantly, I enjoy what I do.
I have discovered my true-self.
The mind never ends until I die. It is being able to train the mind.
When I go "rock-bottom," the mind is fully tested. Mental-toughness comes in.
Label the emotion. (It is fine. We are human. We have feelings.) For example, I feel angry. "What can I do to make it work out?" I ask myself. I cannot control the outcome. I can only go with what I can control. Let it be. Be free.
Alright, I will end it here. Remember, the mind is "complex."
There is no such thing as "happily ever after."
This is reality, not a movie.
My reality continues on until I die, while a movie always has an ending.
Remember, in reality, life is a balance of sadness and happiness. (That way, I can learn from my mistakes.)
A family friend has heard many funny, interesting stories about me approaching girls.
She told me, "Why come you are still single?" (She believes I can find somebody with ease.)
I answered with a smile, "Life ain't a romantic comedy movie."
A few years ago, I approached a lady in Vegas. Now, she lives in Memphis. To this day, we still remain in contact with each other. We are not dating. We do like each other.
Words about our relationship together: Connect, respect, empathy, honesty, and openness.
Something magical will happen, then. Yuh, this is it.
Not necessarily. Again, life ain't a romantic comedy movie.
(In this situation, my younger-self would say, "This will not work out. Why waste my time contacting a lady far away from me? Just shut her down. I can find somebody else in the Bay Area. I will get hurt."
Now, I tell myself, "It is okay. I am breathing. If I enjoy connecting with her, continue on. Live in the moment. Try not to get my hopes up, such as she is my "one and only." If things do not work out, it is fine. I am breathing. Respect the lady.")
Somehow, I talk to "long-distance" women. It just happens. For instance, I approached a nurse in the Philippines, and I met a lady on an online dating app, Bumble.
(My younger-self would say, "This sucks. Why do I approach women that live far away from me? I hate my life."
Now, I tell myself, "I am breathing. Be aware that I am able to talk to women or anybody, unlike before. Be appreciative.")
Relationships come unexpectedly. (I have said this many times in my old blog posts.) When I am able to connect with anybody, that is powerful.
Welcome to my reality.
I used to always compare myself to others. I always wanted to be better than everybody. I always focused on others more than myself.
I only showed my highlight reels of my life to others. (Now, I have realized life has a balance of happiness and sadness. We have emotions. Life is an up-and-down journey.)
I wanted to be Mr. Popular. I had a huge ego. I kept secrets all to myself. I was concerned about others thinking about me.
I had to be at least better than somebody, or else my life is over. It felt good when I criticized and gossiped somebody.
For instance, if I had a bad day, I looked at any of my friends and family, who have not graduated from college yet. For myself, I graduated with a bachelors of science degree in Environmental Studies.
It felt great whenever I received many social media likes on my most recent post. (That was my number one goal. Many likes was my life.) Something is wrong with me, whenever I received no likes.
That was my "old" happiness.
This is unhealthy. (Too much pressure and energy.)
I was never able to become my true-self.
Now, I focus on myself.
If you are inspired in reading this blog entry or any of my previous ones, I feel very touched.
This is my "new" happiness.
I used to say this all the time with people.
I was such a wannabe know-it-all.
For instance, I gave a lecture to one person. (My lectures were horrible, such as "do not do this," or "do not do that." I was a huge hypocrite. Now, I tell you past stories and experiences from myself, my friends, family, relatives, and etc.) Then, he or she did not listen. He or she followed their own path. Eventually, I was right all along.
I said to him or her, "I told you so..."
I was a huge jerk.
Now, I say, "It is okay. You and I are still breathing. I make mistakes as well."
Nobody is perfect.
We are growing. (Give us time to grow.)
It is up to you. It is your life.
Like my high school PE coach said, "Life is all about choices." Thank you, Coach Marlon Blanton.