The past is remembered. Live in the moment. The future is in you.
-Mike Caceres, who is a blogger, hiker, and traveler
I saw a romantic comedy movie, "Crazy Rich Asians." I watched it back-to-back. (The night, and the morning after.) The movie is about an Asian American lady visiting her rich boyfriend's family in Singapore for the first time. It explains the cultural differences. Most of its scenes relate to my life as an Asian American. (My parents are Filipino. I was born and raised in America.)
Since I watched this superb film, I am writing about this blog entry, "L-O-V-E."
Love is just a 1-syllable, and 4-letter word. L-O-V-E. Truly, love has many definitions to it. We each have a heart. That is LOVE.
To keep it simple, I will explain my meaning of "love" to my future girlfriend. (Yuh, I have already written two letters to my future girlfriend, "A Letter to Her," and "Another Letter to Her.")
- Unconditional love.
- A huge sacrifice, commitment, and dedication.
- A travel buddy once told me, "You gotta love yourself first, in order to love her (or anybody else.)"
- Empathy. We are human. We have feelings. Patiently listen to her. It's not always about me. (For instance, I feel really hurt when I see her crying. I am concerned.)
- Acceptance. (I love her for her. I cannot change her for who I want her to be. Go with what she wants. It's her choice. It's her life.)
- Imperfect. Arguments are gonna happen. It is a challenge.
- Resolving arguments together. (Forgive and forget is unhealthy. Just forgetting about arguments is heartless. Buying her a gift to resolve the argument is even horrible.)
- No such thing as "easy love," unless pay for sex. That is easy way in, easy way out. No problems, no arguments. (I should not be in a relationship, if I just want this.)
- Sexual intimacy. (It is more than just sex. More loved, more selfless, and more closer together.)
- Respecting my lady. I would not abuse her in any way physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Being open (and comfortable) with each other. No secrets. (If I have a problem with her, I will let her know. I would not talk behind her back, or else I am a coward.)
- Giving her space. (Go ahead. I do not own her.)
- Trusting her, even when she is away from me. (Honesty is very important.)
- Understanding her, and making adjustments.
- Remembering and celebrating the important dates together, such as her birthday, and our anniversary. (I cherish moments and memories with her. Most importantly, it is her "presence," not her "presents.")
- Falling in love, and staying in love. (The excitement, and commitment.)
- Dynamic duo together. Growing together through thick and thin. We decide together as a team. (No "I." It is us.)
I love her. She will read this when the time comes. We shall see.
In a nice way, I was telling him stories. I was talking about his problems. He was truly offended by my honesty.
As he raised his voice, he told me, "You are telling me that I am a messed up person!"
I answered nicely, "I am a messed up person. Nobody is perfect. I am a slow-bloomer for everything, such as finding a job. I care about you."
I witnessed his face of hatred. I could not even imagine. The person was extremely intense with his sharp eyes. He became more angry as he yelled more, while he was breathing heavily. He stared at me down, while I calmly looked at his hatred face.
My younger-self would have fought back, but it would not have solved anything. It would just get worst. Instead, I kept calm. He stopped.
A day later, I told the person with the hatred face, "I love you." I looked at his eyes when I said it to him. Apparently, he never looked at me. He just walked away.
A few days ago, I witnessed another face of hatred. She gave a wicked stare at her enemy.
Is it worth fighting for? Is it worth having enemies? Is this worth your time and energy?
I used to have a big ego, and a huge sense of pride.
Imagine if I am able to see my face of hatred before.
I am at peace now. I have no more enemies. I retire from holding grudges.
I feel very relieved than ever before.
We just don’t know.
So far, I have experienced a lot from it in traveling. I met a lot of people in China and in the Philippines. I have built meaningful relationships.
It is impossible to remain in contact with everybody. Also, it is impossible to please everybody. (I cannot greet a happy birthday to each of my Facebook friends.)
Things can change. Things do not normally go according to plan. This ain't a movie. Expectation is what we want, but this is reality.
For instance, I met a girl in Shanghai. We went on a few dates. I believe we had a spark. Now, we only contact each other here and there. It is understanding. We live far away from each other. Also, she is 15 hours ahead of me.
Also, I went on a few dates with a girl in the Philippines.
Imagine if I visited one of them again. Things can change. Who knows? I cannot read the future.
It goes with the saying, "Live in the moment." That moment with her. That was a spark.
People grow apart from each other. I cannot control the outcome.
No real answer in life. Things will just happen.
Identity reminds me of Lewis Howes’ book, “The Mask of Masculinity.”
One identity, one image forever. Bad identity, bad image forever. We stay away from them.
Stories written below are about my family and friends.
My uncle tragically killed my sister. Everybody ignored him. (Identity is killer.) Possibly, his life was taken over from loneliness. Unconditional love is powerful. (No support, no life.)
A drug addict has taken meth his whole life. His family have left him, except his loving son. (Identity is drug addict.) Most importantly, he has been clean from drugs, since 2016.
The mind is "complex."
It keeps running until I die.
Writing a blog post about it is "incomplete."
Well, here it goes.
Now, I am thinking about writing whatever is at the top of my head.
To this day, I have negative thoughts in my head. They come and go.
Before, the mind would completely take over me.
For instance, if I had a bad day, I would scapegoat. I would use all my anger to everybody else near me. Then, I would completely shut myself down.
Another thought in my mind.
Also, I never trusted my jump shot in basketball. Now, I have confidence in it. Before I would beat myself up, every time I missed a jump shot.
Now, I tell myself, "I am breathing."
If it gets worst, I take 3 deep breaths. Every time my mind is all shaken up on something, I do that. (Find an alternative instead of worrying about the situation.)
Again, the mind has thoughts in my head.
I used to like social media attention, such as growing followers, getting likes, receiving comments, and etc.
Now, it is okay. I enjoy blogging, hiking, and traveling. If I ever get famous, that is a kudos. Most importantly, I enjoy what I do.
I have discovered my true-self.
The mind keeps going (as long as I am able to manage it).
When I go "rock-bottom," the mind is fully tested. Mental-toughness comes in.
Alright, I will end it here. Remember, the mind is "complex."
There is no such thing as "happily ever after."
This is reality, not a movie.
My reality continues on until I die, while a movie always has an ending.
Remember, in reality, life is a balance of sadness and happiness. (That way, I can learn from my mistakes.)
A family friend has heard many funny, interesting stories about me approaching girls.
She told me, "Why come you are still single?" (She believes I can find somebody with ease.)
I answered with a smile, "Life ain't a romantic comedy movie."
A few years ago, I approached a lady in Vegas. Now, she lives in Memphis. To this day, we still remain in contact with each other. We are not dating. We do like each other.
Words about our relationship together: Connect, respect, empathy, honesty, and openness.
Something magical will happen, then. Yuh, this is it.
Not necessarily. Again, life ain't a romantic comedy movie.
(In this situation, my younger-self would say, "This will not work out. Why waste my time contacting a lady far away from me? Just shut her down. I can find somebody else in the Bay Area. I will get hurt."
Now, I tell myself, "It is okay. I am breathing. If I enjoy connecting with her, continue on. Live in the moment. Try not to get my hopes up, such as she is my "one and only." If things do not work out, it is fine. I am breathing. Respect the lady.")
Somehow, I talk to "long-distance" women. It just happens. For instance, I approached a nurse in the Philippines, and I met a lady on an online dating app, Bumble.
(My younger-self would say, "This sucks. Why do I approach women that live far away from me? I hate my life."
Now, I tell myself, "I am breathing. Be aware that I am able to talk to women or anybody, unlike before. Be appreciative.")
Relationships come unexpectedly. (I have said this many times in my old blog posts.) When I am able to connect with anybody, that is powerful.
Welcome to my reality.
I used to always compare myself to others. I always wanted to be better than everybody. I always focused on others more than myself.
I only showed my highlight reels of my life to others. (Now, I have realized life has a balance of happiness and sadness. We have emotions. Life is an up-and-down journey.)
I wanted to be Mr. Popular. I had a huge ego. I kept secrets all to myself. I was concerned about others thinking about me.
I had to be at least better than somebody, or else my life is over. It felt good when I criticized and gossiped somebody.
For instance, if I had a bad day, I looked at any of my friends and family, who have not graduated from college yet. For myself, I graduated with a bachelors of science degree in Environmental Studies.
It felt great whenever I received many social media likes on my most recent post. (That was my number one goal. Many likes was my life.) Something is wrong with me, whenever I received no likes.
That was my "old" happiness.
This is unhealthy. (Too much pressure and energy.)
I was never able to become my true-self.
Now, I focus on myself.
If you are inspired in reading this blog entry or any of my previous ones, I feel very touched.
This is my "new" happiness.
I used to say this all the time with people.
I was such a wannabe know-it-all.
For instance, I gave a lecture to one person. (My lectures were horrible, such as "do not do this," or "do not do that." I was a huge hypocrite. Now, I tell you past stories and experiences from myself, my friends, family, relatives, and etc.) Then, he or she did not listen. He or she followed their own path. Eventually, I was right all along.
I said to him or her, "I told you so..."
I was a huge jerk.
Now, I say, "It is okay. You and I are still breathing. I make mistakes as well."
Nobody is perfect.
We are growing. (Give us time to grow.)
It is up to you. It is your life.
Like my high school PE coach said, "Life is all about choices." Thank you, Coach Marlon Blanton.
Pictures taken from Virginia back in 1992. My family did not take much pictures. This is all I can find of you in the photo albums. Sorry, Uncle.
1st picture is Grandpa Sator (My dad's uncle from his mom's side), me, my sister, and Uncle Romelo.
2nd picture is Grandpa Sator, my dad, me, and Uncle Romelo.
For readers, Uncle Romelo is my dad's youngest brother.
Dear Uncle Romelo,
I enjoyed watching and playing the game of basketball, since I was 9 years old. (It all began in 1996.)
When I was growing up, I was a weird kid. In the late 1990s, I surprisingly rooted for the Utah Jazz over Michael Jordan and his Chicago Bulls. I did not go for the popular team neither the best player in the planet. (After my high school years, I began to understand the game more than before. Then, I finally realized Michael Jordan was an electrifying, amazing basketball player.)
I became a bandwagon. In the early 2000s, I rooted for whichever team was winning, such as the Los Angeles Lakers.
Yes, I was born and raised in the Bay Area most of my life. I still root for the Golden State Warriors.
Most importantly, I love the "game" more than the Golden State Warriors.
(If the Warriors lose, I do not stress out about it anymore. May the best team win. Referees might miss calls, or officiate bad calls. Then again, it is the name of the game. It happens.)
Also, I do watch that much television anymore, except basketball, and some tennis.
I am an NBA super fan, like the known architect man, James Goldstein. He usually wears outlandish outfits with his cowboy hat. (You will see James Goldstein on national televised games on the sideline, while I only watch the games on my iPad on Reddit or TV.)
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