I've written 199 blog entries, including this post, since 2016.
I need to continue blogging. It's therapeutic for me. Blogging allows me to be honest and vulnerable.
Last blog entry, My Sex Life, might've been the most difficult to read and process.
I wasn't concerned and worried about posting it. Because I'm not seeking any validation and attention to others.
"In fact, many people find it extremely difficult to talk about sex; it can be a sensitive and awkward topic that raises feelings fo embarrassment, shame or inadequacy," Matty Silver writes in her article, Why is it so Difficult to Talk about Sex?
To come to think about it. I think I was trying to impress you when I released blog entry, My Sex Life.
The last time I talked to my tennis and basketball coach was on a Tuesday afternoon on October 30, 2018 at 3PST. It has been one year now. (Time goes by fast. It never stops.) His last missed phone call from me was on Wednesday, October 31 at 7:58pm. (My cousin and I were heading to a brewery. We decided to have him join us.)
Coach was reported dead on Sunday, November 4, 2018. He was found laying on his living room floor. I believe he was gone earlier.
The Golden State Warriors have suffered huge losses on their first two games at the start of the NBA season. And it's going to be a long season. I'm used to seeing them play as the juggernaut team for the last 5 years.
They've given us 3 rings since 2014. And they have appeared in the NBA Finals for the last 5 years. The Warriors have won 3 out of the 5 years. (That's 60%. That's impressive.)
I wrote an old blog entry, Respect the Lady, on June 27, 2017. I decide to write an updated version.
Here are ways I start communicating with a lady:
Then I would receive no word from the lady. Or she would tell me she has a boyfriend, or she's not interested.
It gets frustrating and disappointing. But it's understanding. It's good to know I tried at least. I will never know unless I try.
My friends and I decided to hit the computer lab during our free period. (It was 2nd period.) They were talking while I was playing around with Microsoft Paint on the PC. We were in our own bubble. Then the bell rang. And they looked at my computer screen for the first time.
I never liked school. I graduated high school in 2005. And I graduated from college in 2017. A huge gap of 12 years. Because I switched majors from Civil Engineering to Environmental Studies. And I never went to see a counselor. I assumed I took the correct classes. I was always a C-average student. Homework was my priority. It saved me from passing. I hated reading and writing at the time.
I can say this or that. But I wouldn't be where or who I'm at right now. I like reading, writing, and blogging.
This is my communication to you. And this blog is too.
I'm single. And I'm okay with it.
I'm a man seeking a woman.
I've been on dates. And I'm for it. (Because I'm still single.)
Each woman I've met or approached is different in their own way.
My sister passed away on May 17, 2003. I chose to be alone. Because I was ashamed and embarrassed by others from my uncle losing my sister's life. I did not want to become attached to others. Because I would feel the pain and agony again once they die. I was better off to be alone.
My younger-self wanted others to judge me. I thought I deserved it. I assumed choosing to be alone was weird.
For instance, I was frightened to go to high school prom alone since I couldn't ask any girl out. Because of my severe anxiety.
And I felt lonely. Because I lost a best friend too. I was isolated from the world. I was a useless person from losing a sister. I had no sense of purpose in life anymore. I had thoughts of committing suicide. But I chose not to do it. Because I didn't want to hurt others more.
I hoped and wished I'll die one day. I prayed to God to take my life. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't able to accept my sister's death.
I posted an old blog entry, The Game is in my Blood, on February 12, 2018.
It's about picking up women too.
But this is the updated version of it. Because I have grown and evolved from meeting women.
I have always been nice to girls throughout my life. But I never expressed my feelings to them right away.
They never came to me.
My 26-year-old self decided to learn how to pick up women in 2012.
Because I felt isolated from the world. And I thought being single was abnormal.
"You're not actually connected with yourself," Sasha talks in his 5-minute YouTube video shown below. "You're not in alignment with who you are. You're not clear about what you want. You're just confused and lost. And you’re horny."
I need money in order to live and survive.
I was told to study and work hard. And money will come to me.
I graduated from Sonoma State University with a BS degree in Environmental Studies. I do not want to pursue it.
I have worked multiple part-time jobs throughout my life. I have never experienced working any type of full-time job. My younger-self would be embarrassed and ashamed about it. Because of society. And a full-time job provides benefits.
I like to work in an efficient way (to the point where I don't need 40 hours a week). I stay healthy. I'll start investing in my money once I reach a good amount of capital. And benefits from a full-time job won't be needed.
I was told to get a girl. You need money. You must impress her.
Life is an up and down journey.
I have no idea whatever comes my way will ever be right.
My younger-self assumed I knew everything. Then I would hit a downward spiral. My depression and anxiety would kick in. I tried to forget about my mental health crisis. Because I was told to always be optimistic in life. But it would be impossible. I never wanted to acknowledge, realize, and accept my flaws and weaknesses. Because of my huge ego too.
I started to sell used material goods through FaceBook Marketplace since last November.
I like to connect with my buyer as well. I try to satisfy my buyer on the purchased product.
"If you are dissatisfied, you can get return it with a full refund," I tell my buyer.
I began to declutter at this time too.
I learned how to declutter from watching Netflix documentary, Minimalism. And reading Marie Kondo's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. And reading Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
I continue to find more sources in decluttering. Because I like to keep learning.
My way of decluttering is choosing to either donate, sell, recycle, or junk items.
Decluttering and selling gave me an idea to start on a business.
I offer two options to my client.