"We've all felt it, and we've all probably given in. The urge to post something for the sole reason it may get a lot of likes is powerful indeed," Podcast, Really Really Badly, talk about it in their episode, Social Media Pt. 2: Doing it For the Likes. "But is it something we even really care about? If so, why? If not, then why do we do it so often?"
I admit it. I feel happy whenever I receive many likes on my social media post.
I used to upload a photo or video for the sake of trying to get many likes. (I was only aiming for attractive women to like each post.) I tried to post every day. Because I believed I will get many likes. (It worked sometimes.) I needed instant gratification. (Call it a dopamine-effect.)
I was playing a game of tag during recess in 1993. (I was 6 years old.) I tripped and fell. I lost control of my speed. My head hit the cement. I was unconscious. I suffered from a coma for about 2-3 days.
"WHY?" I asked myself.
I was 16 years old. On Saturday night, May 17, 2003, my uncle killed my sister. My sister was my (first) best friend. My uncle and I always played and watched basketball together. (He loved the game.)
3 years ago, I was jealous. Because my dad always pleased his brother, nephews, and nieces. I was in anger. I decided to shove my uncle. Then I front-kicked my dad. (My dad signed me up for taekwando classes when I was a kid. I hated it.) And I felt guilty. I walked away from them. Then I held a grudge against my dad for a month.
Last November, I received a voicemail from a friend. He told me his father has passed away. His father was my tennis/basketball coach, and friend.
Welcome to life.
My friend, Jon, introduced me to sauna. (This was 2 months ago.) He first heard sauna from Tim Ferriss' book, Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers.
(Ferriss has interviewed many people in his podcast. They have given him advice and told him stories. He decided to share it to a bigger audience by documenting it in his book.)
Ferriss explained about sauna in his book: "'Hypothermic conditioning' can help you to increase growth hormone levels and substantially improve endurance. I now take ~20-minute sauna sessions post-workout or post-stretching at least four times per week, typically at roughly 160 to 170°F. If nothing else, it seems to dramatically decrease DOMS (delayed-onset muscle soreness)."
He also noted it has "been shown to cause a massive release in prolactin, which plays a role in wound healing."
Sauna may purify body from "built up wastes and harmful toxins."
Like Ferriss, I take 20-minute sauna sessions, after I have finished from lifting weights, exercising my abs, and foam rolling my muscles.
I would join Jon in the sauna. We would usually encounter at least one person in a sauna.
"What should I do?" A friend asked me on the phone.
"Do you feel comfortable traveling with your friend to Jamaica?" I asked her.
"That is the answer to your question."
"I like coming to you for advice."
"How do you feel about this lady?" I asked my friend.
"She seems to be 'too much.' She is insecure. I have told her." He told me.
"That is the answer to your question. You can say what you want. At the end of the day, it is up to her. It is understanding who people are and making adjustments."
"It makes sense to talk it out."
"When can I start wearing a v-neck sweater?" My friend's cousin from high school asked me.
"When I was in high school, I wore white skinny jeans. I matched it with my white shirt," I told him. "I was made fun of but it did not seem to bother me."
He looked surprised.
"Go with what you want," I said. "It's your choice. It's your life."
I cannot control you. I ask you questions. I tell you stories. I do not (and will never) know everything. I am not perfect (and I will never be). It is impossible.
I started Facebook in 2008.
(Facebook was only open to college students when it began in 2004. Since 2006, it has been open to the public.)
"I heard a person judging, criticizing, and comparing others on Facebook. He said that she is fat and ugly on her pictures," I told my friend, Jon.
"When Facebook began, people were always excited in sharing their pictures and videos. Those were the days. It has changed now," Jon told me.
- It was the highlight reel of my life. I used to seek validation and attention to others.
- I used to judge, criticize, and compare others. It made me feel better about myself.
- I was focused on visiting Facebook. It was my number one priority in life. I was distracted by the number of likes and comments on my most recent post. It was a "waiting" game.
I have shared my stories and experiences to you (for the 165th time and counting.)
"Be careful in sharing your stories to others. They will learn something. Then, they might turn against you. You will regret it," A woman told me.
"That is fine. I cannot predict the future. I want to share my stories and experiences, even if anybody turns against me. I do not expect anything in return." I answered.
Fantasy is an instant gratification. It is my imagination. I can say whatever I desire in my mind. (I want it now.)
Reality is everyday life. I experience "it" through my five senses: See, touch, smell, taste, and hear. Remember, it takes time to get whatever I desire in my mind. (Trust the process.)
We live in an imperfect world.
Examples of Fantasy versus Reality shown below.
Fantasy: When I was a kid, I enjoyed writing on my Christmas wish list every December. I wanted to receive everything, such as toys, video games, clothes, and etc. (What is "enough?")
Reality: It was impossible to check off my Christmas wish list.
I used to live life with regrets. (It haunted me.)
Negative thoughts appeared on my mind every day. (List shown below.)
I write about my thoughts and ideas. I share it to you (or the reader).
I am sending you a message.
You are motivated to write now. (I wish.)
("What do you want to be when you grow up?")
...an NBA basketball player.
People criticized me.
"You are too short."
"You are too small."
"You are not Black."
"Finish school and get a job."
"Be a nurse instead."
"Be an engineer instead."