I posted an old blog entry, The Game is in my Blood, on February 12, 2018.
It's about picking up women too.
But this is the updated version of it. Because I have grown and evolved from meeting women.
I have always been nice to girls throughout my life. But I never expressed my feelings to them right away.
They never came to me.
My 26-year-old self decided to learn how to pick up women in 2013.
Because I felt isolated from the world. And I thought being single was abnormal.
"You're not actually connected with yourself," Sasha talks in his 5-minute YouTube video shown below. "You're not in alignment with who you are. You're not clear about what you want. You're just confused and lost. And you’re horny."
His video explained what "pick-up" taught me.
And I'll add more to it.
"Pick-up" pressured me to approach women right away before it's too late. Because I'll never see one of them again. And one of them might be my future wife.
For instance, I saw many attractive women in Vegas. My mind couldn't handle the pressure. It was too much. I stopped at the moment. "Pick-up" would say I have failed. Negative thoughts would take over my mind: "You are a sore loser." "You are a coward." "It's your loss."
"Pick-up" forced me to approach women right away even if I was busy talking to a friend, family, relative, or anyone.
For instance, I approached one right away in front of my conservative Uncle. He couldn't believe it in his eyes. He had never seen it before. But he was against it. He was worried and concerned about his surroundings. He was embarrassed and ashamed to be near me.
I hurt him. But I didn't care. Because "pick-up" told me to.
"Pick-up" pushed me to ignore everyone around me except women.
For instance, I was concentrated at chasing women. I didn't take the time to hangout with my friend, Kirby. I did shut him down in my life at the time. I held a grudge at him.
I got the worst from "pick-up."
For instance, Kirby's sister told me her cousin's friend, Faye, will be coming over at their house. Faye was visiting from San Diego. I liked her. I arrived at the house. I dressed to impress her.
Then Kirby arrived from work. He was surprised. And he gave me a dirty stare. Then he walked away.
(I was able to apologize to Kirby at that night. I apologized to him. We reconciled with each other. And I left without even talking to Faye. That was the right thing to do.)
"Pick-up" taught me to say whatever to women, such as any type of profanity or obscenity. I would say it with confidence. And I would stay my ground.
For instance, I liked Coach's family friend, Lisa. I said a vulgar statement on the phone to her. Coach was embarrassed and disappointed. He was never for my "pick-up." And Lisa felt disrespected by my statement.
I was called a "piranha" from Coach.
Another worst from "pick-up" happened.
I started the 3-year grudge from Coach.
I was self-centered from doing "pick-up." I only aimed for meeting attractive women. I continued going to the next one whenever I was rejected. I was focused on brainwashing and manipulating women to having sex with me. That was my ultimate goal.
I realized I never became myself. I was always chasing the ultimate goal.
I was able to come at peace with Coach last year.
I told Coach: "I know you were never for my 'pick-up.' I respect it. And I respect you. You were right. I was selfish. It's understanding who people are. And making adjustments. I was able to get out of my comfort zone for the first time in my life from learning "pick-up." I also learned how to overcome my fear from social anxiety by it. "Pick-up" showed me failure and rejection. I can apply these lessons to life. It's interconnected and connected. I am able to engage in any conversation to anyone. I was able to coach at a tennis academy, and travel overseas alone. Yuh I still like to talk to women. But I'm able to train my mind. I'm not the 'piranha' you saw before. I am in control now. I won't be pressured or forced anymore. When you're around, I won't talk to one. When I'm alone, I'll talk to one if I choose to. I go with the flow now. I approach a woman by giving them a compliment. Then I ask and listen. I want to hear more from her. And I’ll ask for her number too. I feel more relaxed than ever before. The blogging, traveling, and coaching have helped me along this journey. I like to be honest and vulnerable. This is the most I've talked to you. You would be the one talking a lot."
"I'm glad you have changed," Coach told me. "I'm happy for you."
(He died 3 months later. RIP Coach.)
"Pick-up" did shape me who I am today. I was able to find my self-love, self-purpose, and self-identity in life throughout this journey.
A travel buddy, Janine, told me to love myself first in order to love others. I'm able to love others. No more enemies. No more grudges. My purpose in life is to be grateful, compassionate, empathetic, honest, vulnerable, and forgiving. And to keep learning.
This is my identity now.
I need money in order to live and survive.
I was told to study and work hard. And money will come to me.
I graduated from Sonoma State University with a BS degree in Environmental Studies. I do not want to pursue it.
I have worked multiple part-time jobs throughout my life. I have never experienced working any type of full-time job. My younger-self would be embarrassed and ashamed about it. Because of society. And a full-time job provides benefits.
I like to work in an efficient way (to the point where I don't need 40 hours a week). I stay healthy. I'll start investing in my money once I reach a good amount of capital. And benefits from a full-time job won't be needed.
I was told to get a girl. You need money. You must impress her.
Life is an up and down journey.
I have no idea whatever comes my way will ever be right.
My younger-self assumed I knew everything. Then I would hit a downward spiral. My depression and anxiety would kick in. I tried to forget about my mental health crisis. Because I was told to always be optimistic in life. But it would be impossible. I never wanted to acknowledge, realize, and accept my flaws and weaknesses. Because of my huge ego too.
I started to sell used material goods through FaceBook Marketplace since last November.
I like to connect with my buyer as well. I try to satisfy my buyer on the purchased product.
"If you are dissatisfied, you can get return it with a full refund," I tell my buyer.
I began to declutter at this time too.
I learned how to declutter from watching Netflix documentary, Minimalism. And reading Marie Kondo's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. And reading Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
I continue to find more sources in decluttering. Because I like to keep learning.
My way of decluttering is choosing to either donate, sell, recycle, or junk items.
Decluttering and selling gave me an idea to start on a business.
I offer two options to my client.
A friend from Texas visited me this past week.
Her name is Aniecia.
She's a sexy, attractive lady. And I was the first to call her as the X-Men superhero character, Storm. She does look like her.
She recently started this new look.
"You're a hot chocolate. And I'm melting right away," I told her.
I was told to never a chase a woman taller than me. And I was told to always go for a light-skin woman.
Back in my elementary school days, I was surrounded by mostly Filipinos. And back in my Sonoma State University days, I was surrounded by mostly Whites.
She is an Ethiopian mix standing at 5'7. While I'm only 5'5.
I approached her 5 years ago in Vegas. And she was with a group of friends. She was turning 18 in two days at the time. She decided to round off her age. And tell me she was 18.
Before sliding into the DM (Direct Message) was introduced, AIM (American Online Instant Messenger) existed. I met first girlfriend through AIM.
Our relationship started when I AIMed her: "Hi, I am Marrianne's brother. You are my sister's friend."
My sister passed away in 2003.
I decided to AIM her friend 2 years later. Because I was 18 years old. And I was legal (and ready) to AIM her. She was mysterious too. I was interested in getting to know her. And I wanted to date her.
I assumed I might have a chance. Because I'm grieving and mourning from my sister's death. Her friend can comfort me. And this thought came to mind.
I believed her friend might judge me and my family from a tragedy too. Because my mind wasn't functioning and performing well.
It is an offering.
Many means and ways of giving.
When I was a kid, I was taught to never talk to strangers. Because I might get kidnapped, molested, or killed. (They never said that. But you can see why.) I avoided beggars asking for help. (It made me look down upon them.) I only earned money through gifts, chores, and allowances from family, friends, and relatives.
And received any brand new material goods, like toys, given to me from family, friends, and relatives. (Brand new material goods were purchased from money too.) I witnessed this way and mean of giving and receiving based on my childhood experience.
I became what I saw and heard.
"I think money is important. And I do really want to hear your reasons for that," Travis talks about it with his friend, Brandon, in their podcast episode, The Importance of Giving. "But maybe to just keep in mind as we move forward. You also can give up your time, effort, attention, love, and talent as well."
I was told to give more than receive. Every time, I was offered a gift. I was taught to not accept it right away.
Uncle Romel took my sister's life on Saturday, May 17, 2003.
He was 31 years old while my sister was 18 years old.
(I am 32 years old writing this to you.)
A year and a half later, he wrote a letter to my 17-year-old self and my parents. We each had a letter from him. (That was 3 letters total.)
And we were surprised.
At the time, I was in denial. I was grieving and mourning. I was not able to function. I had no sense of purpose in life anymore. I could not accept my sister's death.
I hated my Uncle. I wanted him dead. I wished somebody would torture and kill him. I expected him to feel the same pain and agony as how he stabbed my sister multiple times using a kitchen knife.
"What do you want now?" I asked myself to his letter while my parents heard me. "What else do you want from us?"
I didn't open his letter right away. Because anger took over my mind. I was swearing and cussing at his letter.
Finally, it took me about 15 minutes to open his letter.
I was curious. Because I wondered what exactly was his message to me and my parents.
It was an apology letter.
(Picture of his envelope and letter shown below. Dated on December 27, 2004.)
I sleep about 8 hours every night. I take a nap for about an hour or two every day.
One day is 24 hours. About 10 hours of my time is from sleeping. My body needs to rest, recover, and recharge in order to function and perform. And I am left with 14 hours in day.
It is being able to train my mind every single day, or else I will not be able to prioritize and minimize my time efficiently. (That is now a top priority in my life.)
Because I choose my time.
Every day is a challenge.
I was first introduced about priorities by reading Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. (I read it about a month ago. I am slowly applying it.)
"Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it's about how to get the right things done. It doesn't mean just doing less for the sake of less either," McKeown writes. "It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential."
I continue to slowly declutter. And I would find something to remember, like old newspaper articles about my sister's death. She was stabbed multiple times from my uncle on Saturday, May 17, 2003. (I will save these articles.)
I never talked about her death at the time. I was embarrassed. I was scared. I was an insecure kid. I was focused on others more than myself. I believed people will hate me. I assumed people will think I am crazy. I always wanted to be alone. I chose to keep it a secret.
I remember the last day I saw my sister. She looked sad. My sister had a crush on her friend for a long time. But he never expressed his feelings to her. She was hoping he would let her know. My sister did have thoughts about letting him know. But she left it on pause. She had no idea if he liked her. She was clueless by their mixed signals.