I used to always compare myself to others. I always wanted to be better than everybody. I always focused on others more than myself.
I only showed my highlight reels of my life to others. (Now, I have realized life has a balance of happiness and sadness. We have emotions. Life is an up-and-down journey.)
I wanted to be Mr. Popular. I had a huge ego. I kept secrets all to myself. I was concerned about others thinking about me.
I had to be at least better than somebody, or else my life is over. It felt good when I criticized and gossiped somebody.
For instance, if I had a bad day, I looked at any of my friends and family, who have not graduated from college yet. For myself, I graduated with a bachelors of science degree in Environmental Studies.
It felt great whenever I received many social media likes on my most recent post. (That was my number one goal. Many likes was my life.) Something is wrong with me, whenever I received no likes.
That was my "old" happiness.
This is unhealthy. (Too much pressure and energy.)
I was never able to become my true-self.
Now, I focus on myself.
If you are inspired in reading this blog entry or any of my previous ones, I feel very touched.
This is my "new" happiness.