190) 3rd Letter to Her
Dear future girlfriend,
I enjoy writing letters to you.
More letters about you in the works.
We found each other by accident.
It was a lucky moment.
And it was unexpected too.
I like you.
I love you.
Before I met you, I was able to love myself.
And I was able to find my purpose in life.
My younger-self assumed I had to find a partner first in order to understand the meaning of love and life.
I expected a partner to please, complete, and fix me.
And to impress others.
Because that was my outer-confidence.
My younger-self had no inner-confidence.
I can't say our love together will last forever.
We aren't destined to be together.
I can die one day.
Or you can too.
For instance, I lost a sister when I was 15 years old.
Our love won't last forever.
You're not my other half.
You are you.
You are different in your own way.
You are unique.
I love your honesty and vulnerability.
I also love how you are able to invest in your mental health.
I like your willingness to learn everyday.
I accept change from you.
Because I can't expect the same lady I met from day one.
I give you space.
So you can grow.
And share it to me when we are together.
I already see your growth.
I honor your privacy.
My younger-self would want you all to myself.
Because I would be afraid you might find another man to replace me.
I would always feel jealous and insecure.
Because I was selfish.
And I would not trust you.
I don't own you.
You're not my possession.
You are a lady.
I give you freedom to choose.
Go live your life.
You are empathetic and compassionate.
I tell you how I feel.
For instance, my younger-self bottled my emotions to my first girlfriend at the time.
Because I wanted to be her best boyfriend in the world.
My main priority was to please her.
But I was hurting myself.
It was unhealthy.
I did tell her communication is the key to a relationship.
I was a hypocrite.
I respect you.
I trust you.
I let you speak.
I choose not to yell, swear, or cuss at you.
It never goes anywhere.
I'm not Mr. Right to you.
It would just hurt you.
And you can have a possibility of keeping secrets from me.
For instance, I met a man who has anxiety. And he keeps secrets from his family. Because he believes his strict father shaped him who he is as a person now.
I continue to be honest and vulnerable to you as well.
We have our disagreements.
No such thing as a "perfect" couple.
Because nobody is perfect.
I let you walk away to process.
Then I wait to hear your side of the story.
And I tell you mine in a respectful, peaceful way.
We take the time to resolve the situation together.
We realize the situation is us.
And our relationship has been growing stronger together.
Communication is the key.
We have tolerance.
Or we can argue and forget.
For instance, I know a man who gets in an argument with his wife. He would escape from it. And forget about it later in the day. He chooses not to resolve their problem.
We have our differences.
I choose not to command, demand, or control you.
I support you.
Go with what you want.
I ask and listen.
It’s not always about me.
I can only tell you stories or give you examples.
And ask questions.
You do ask me for advice.
I’m glad you do.
Because I can’t read your mind.
I like your patience.
You take my feedback.
You’re not sensitive.
You never run away.
For instance, I know a woman who has insomnia. She wasn't able to take any of my questions, stories, or examples. She was annoyed. So I apologized. And said nothing to her. She walked out on me. Because she needed space.
I like your willingness to communicate with me.
I'm learning from my mistakes.
I choose not to find any excuses whenever it’s my fault.
Or else I won’t be able to learn or change.
For instance, I know a man who was traumatized from his past. He was teased in school. And his father would beat him up.
The man blames his past every time he gets into an argument.
I prioritize myself in becoming a better person to myself.
Not to you.
Because I want you to see the better person in me.
And I don't want to use you as a crutch.
You are strong.
You are a gem in my eyes.
I already see the better person in you every single day.
Neil Strauss quotes: "We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it."
Our love is "free-flowing energy."
All I can do is live in the moment.