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The past is remembered. Live in the moment. The future is in you.

147) Monogamy

10/29/2018

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the state or custom of being married to one person at a time, or of having only one mate at a time
From Merriam-Webster

I am 31 years old. So far, I only had one girlfriend.

(We dated for about 6-8 months. I was in my early 20s. We were good friends for 3-4 years before that. It took me a while to ask her out at that time. I was afraid of rejection. Also, I did not want to lose her friendship.)

The relationship with my girlfriend at that time was very exciting. I learned a lot from her. Almost everything with her was new for me, such as traveling together to Washington DC, and many more.

​(Before her, I struggled in meeting women. I had extreme social anxiety around women.)

Our relationship ended in good terms. I was young. I wanted to explore more women. I have been single for a while. (So far, I have learned a lot from dating.)

Stories of monogamy relationships from people I either have heard or seen:

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146) Peace

10/22/2018

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I am at peace. I have a clean heart.

This is a huge challenge.

Things will not go my way.

For instance, a few nights ago, I was bit of annoyed at a music festival. My good friend and I stood in front of our big, concrete chairs. It was more visible to stand than sit.

Latecomers walked in. (It is bound to happen. You wanna come closer to see your artist.)

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145) Anger

10/15/2018

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Anger is fine as long as it does not control you.

Here is a list of anger possibly taking over you:
  • You keep it bottled inside. A few years have passed, you suddenly snap.
  • You take things too harshly and seriously. Everywhere you go, you are annoyed by people.
  • ​​You go on swearing and cussing at a person, during an argument. You believe that person will stop. Instead, it gets worst.
  • After an argument, you hold a grudge on that person. (You rub it in.) You are hoping that person will reach out to you for an apology. Instead, nothing really happens.
  • Nothing is going your way. You are mad at everybody.
  • Based on your life experience, you have trust issues. You always have negativity around people.
  • You have done everything for that person. You expect kindness in return. Instead, that person does not care. You see that person as a villain now.
  • You find out that somebody is talking behind your back. You are hurt. You go on criticizing that somebody. Then, it goes back and forth.
  • You are concerned about somebody. You give that person advice. You realized that person never listens to you anyway.

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144) My Sister Visits Me in My Dreams

10/8/2018

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Picture
Last Monday night, I had a meaningful and powerful dream. My sister was in it.

​(The day before this dream, I painted her closet. Also, I decluttered her room. A few days before she died, she did tell me, "When I am gone, you can take care of my stuff.)

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143) Change

10/1/2018

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I am not a politician. I am not forcing you to change. It is tough to change. It took me a while.

To this day, I am trying to change (and learn.) It takes me a while.

When I was younger, I used to hate reading and writing. Now, I enjoy it. (I started on this blog, since a year ago or so.)

I used to be afraid in talking to anybody, especially women. Now, I can talk to almost anybody. (During my solo travel in China, I bonded with a 50-year-old man from Belgium, and a 67-year-old woman from the UK).

Heck, my sister died in 2003. I had no idea that I was gonna progress.

People can change.

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