(This happened just last night.) I am sitting here alone at Fieldwork Brewey Co. in Berkeley, CA. (Actually, I will be alone until my good friend shows up.)
As of now, I am drinking their top IPA, Virtual Planetoid Huge IPA (preferred by my server), while I wait for my grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with ham and jalapeños.
To this day, I still get nervous every day. It runs in my blood. (The jitters never die. They come and go.)
Why do you get nervous?
I tend to overthink before I do something.
Why, so? I want to be perfect.
When did your "nervousness" begin?
What do you mean?
At a park, I was playing one-on-one basketball against Jerry.
Who is Jerry? I just met him. Why play him? I miss playing basketball so I asked him to challenge me in a game up to 11. Also, he had a basketball. (I have a basketball but it is a bit flat. I cannot find the needle pump as well.)
What does this story have to do with tennis meeting basketball?
It all began when one of my good friends recommended me to read book, "Choose Yourself," written by James Altucher. (My first ever blog post, "Where Am I At Now?" was published on Monday, September 19, 2016.)
What is the book about?
You choose your life. Try something different. Every day, continue to jot down many creative ideas that you have never done before, such as this blog, then take your pick and do it. (Get out of your nutshell.) Start being uncomfortable. (To this day, I did not expect that I would be still blogging.) Keep taking risks. If you fail, what matters is you at least tried. If you hate it, try something different. Importantly, you will never regret it later in life. Again, you choose your life. No one is stopping you but yourself.
To my high school self:
If you're ever reading this (highly unlikely), you will be crying. You are super sensitive. (I still am but not as worst as you.) You already know who you are. Sorry, I will be harsh on you. I am comparing myself now to you. This is for your own good.
I am a blogger now. Why do you hate writing and reading? You call it boring. Instead, you prefer to play sports or video games. School is not your number one priority. For instance, you never finish reading at least one novel assigned from your English teacher. Instead, you take shortcuts by surfing the web for book notes, like Cliffnotes. (I wonder if that is still a website. Surprisingly, it still is. I just checked now.)
I am a college graduate with a Bachelor's of Science in Environmental Studies and Planning (with a concentration of Energy Management and Design). For now, I am not pursuing this career. (But I consider pursuing it some time next year.) Why you do not like school? You think it is a complete waste of time. For instance, you never achieve any 1st and 2nd honors at school.
I am a coach now. Also, I am a recent vlogger. Why are you shy and quiet? Why are you camera shy? You have a very low self-esteem. You worry more about others thinking about you than yourself. You are afraid to say something or else you will embarrass yourself. For instance, you always heavily sweat and nervously stutter every time you do a class presentation. Also, you can never express your feelings to your crush.
Yes, I am a traveler. For now, I am focused on blogging, coaching, and vlogging. Some time next year, I consider continuing to travel somewhere. Why you always stay home? You are afraid to search and explore. You do not want to try out and experience different cultures. For instance, you always eat the same food everyday, such as your typical Filipino dish. You hardly eat out.
Now, I will compare myself now to you in appearance-wise.
Currently, my hair is very long up top and short on the sides. Why do you grow a huge afro? You want to cover your extreme acne from your face. Also, you do not want to be seen from anyone. Actually, it is a huge center of attraction. You grow this hair so you can be different (and unique).
Yes, you have a very low self-esteem. Apparently, growing an afro takes balls and guts. Obviously, you stood out even though you do not see it. The afro makes you different and weird. Every time I look at the picture shown below, you surprise me.
Be different. Accept change.
My Present Self