A Belated Birthday Letter To My Sister

Your 11th grade photo given to me. You told me that the school yearbook didn't post your photo.

Dear Sister,

Yesterday was your birthday. Happy belated birthday. You were born in 1984. You would be 39.

​You were gone on Saturday, May 17, 2003. I was 16 years old at the time. I couldn't accept your death. I should've been there. I was in denial.   

20 years later. Now I'm 36. Time flies. That's crazy.

​It surprises me every day that my younger-self was able to survive your death. When things don't go my way, I would tell myself that in order to keep the mind in check.

Recently, I was close to death twice. I almost died a week ago from a burning truck. A month ago, I almost died from a bike accident. Yesterday I wrote a blog about my near death experiences.

I believe you're with me. You've saved me from my near death experiences. Thank you. You're in my heart everywhere I go. You've been watching me since 2003.

So far, you don't want me to die. I don't have any suicidal thoughts or intentions. That was only when I was mourning and grieving your loss. No need to worry.

​I shouldn't be afraid of death. For the reason that, you died from being stabbed multiple times. I didn't get to witness your death. You're brave.

I've come a long way to be where and who I am at. With your passing, you've made me become stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually. You already know. You're watching me.

You're not an auntie yet. I don't have a girlfriend right now. First I have to find a partner. I've been on dates. Something would happen. It’s the timing. Oh well. Respect the lady.

There'll be a time when I'm gone. I wonder if you and I will reunite. I think so. I hope so. I wanna hear from you. You've been listening to me for the last 20 years. I'll stop talking right now.

Happy belated birthday. I miss you. love you.


Much Love,
Your Brother