192) A Letter to Myself

I received a letter to myself through the mail. I couldn't believe it.

I have written letters to my sister, uncle, coach, future girlfriend, and my high school self. I'm looking at the letters I have written in this blog. And I haven't written a letter to my sister yet. (I thought I did. A letter to my sister will be one of my future blog entries.)

I looked at the recipient's address on the envelope. And I saw my penmanship. I was in disbelief.

I didn't remember writing a letter to myself. And the return address was never written on the envelope. I thought I was being pranked. I was processing for about a minute. (Picture of envelope shown below.)

Then I decided to open the envelope.

I saw more of my handwriting. 

Low and behold. It was a letter to myself.

​It was a surreal moment. But it was real.

​Read the letter shown below.

I remember now. It was homework assigned by my college professor from 4 years ago. The class was Biology of Aging. She told my class to write a letter to ourselves. And she'll send our letters back to us in the future.

(I forgot my teacher's name. I tried finding her on Sonoma State University's website. I can't find her. I would like to thank her.)

I'm glad I did the assignment. I can look back at it now. And talk about it.

I did take the time to write it. Because my writing was neat. It gets sloppy if I rush. Or my writing can get worst like my high school teacher would call "chicken scratch" to the point you can't read it.

4 years have went by fast.

2015:
- NBA team Golden State Warriors won 3rd championship in their franchise history. And I was able to witness it. (1st was 1956, and 2nd was 1975.)
- I learned how to pickup women. And I was able to apply and execute it. 
- I held a grudge with my tennis and basketball coach.
- I went on a 2-week Europe trip with my friend Linda. We visited London, Paris, Rome, and Amsterdam.
- My friend and I started a YouTube channel, Just Go TV. I was being awkward to people, while my friend filmed and captured people's reactions. He also edited the videos. After the 7th video, he decided to leave Just Go TV.
- I had a hallucinatory experience from drugs. It changed my life (for the better). I'll explain more about it one of my future blog entries, once I finish reading Michael Pollan's book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence.

2016:
- I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I was focused on others. I kept comparing myself to others. I assumed everyone was ahead of me in life. I was living with my parents. I was single. I thought something was wrong with me. Social media took over my life. I was depressed in December. I didn't know what was my purpose in life. I applied any type of job. Because I was embarrassed to be unemployed.
-My favorite NBA player growing up was Kobe Bryant. (I loved Michael Jordan. Kobe did look up to MJ. He mirrored his game to the greatest of all-time. But I didn't get to see MJ play his whole career. Because he was drafted by the Chicago Bulls in 1984. And I was born in 1987.)  Kobe played his last basketball game on April 13. He responded from his quote I added in letter with a "perfect" farewell game.
- I started this blog on September 19. It was a grind. I had struggles in what to write and post. I was chasing for the money at first. But I realized I wasn't myself. I forced myself to blog. I continued to trust the process. I needed to blog. Because it was my therapy. (And still to this day.)
- On December, I wrote a blog entry, You're Born, You Live, and You Die. (It does respond to my written letter to myself about my class, Biology of Aging.)

2017:
- I was an assistant coach for the boys' tennis team at American Canyon High School. I helped them for a few months. 
- I became a tennis coach at Kim Grant Tennis Academy in Palo Alto, California. I was happy to have been hired by a former professional tennis player Kim Grant. During my one-on-one interview with Kim, she called me "one of the kindest people she has met." I coached for a year. And I resigned to travel next year.
- I received my college diploma from Sonoma State University. But I didn't want to pursue my BS degree in Environmental Studies.

2018:
- In February, I had forgiven my uncle who lost my sister's life in 2003. I wrote a letter to him in blog. 
- I was inspired from my friend Jon traveling alone. So I traveled to Philippines, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Barcelona, Seville, and Morocco. I met locals and travelers. I stayed at hostels, AirBNBs, or homes from family and relatives. I lived and adjusted the lifestyle.
- Traveling taught me to be patient. I was able to listen and hear people's stories. (It's not always about me.) I used to be selective. Before I would just want to meet an attractive women. (Because of pickup.) For instance, I met a 40-year old man Robert from Belgium, and a 67-year-old woman Liz from London, during my solo travel. 
- Lifting weights in November became one of my lifestyle habits. I remember what my friend Kirby has taught me in the weight room. (We still train together to this day.) 
- I was committed to hit the sauna for 20 minutes after I finished any type of physical activity.
- I was able to come at peace with my tennis and basketball coach in August. I shared him my stories. He was amazed, surprised, and impressed. I was talking while he was listening. (Before he always talked to me.) And then he died 3 months later. I was in tears. I'm glad to have reconciled with him before he died.
​- I was on the phone with one of his friends after he died. "Willie always talked about you," she told me. "He believed that you had huge potential as a person. He loved you so much."
- I'm more at peace now. No more enemies. No more grudges. My friend Jon writes a great piece about me how I was able to forgive and reconcile with others.

2019:
- Prioritizing and investing in my mental health. It's a challenge every single day to train and practice the mind. 
- I've discovered my purpose in life on May. It's to be grateful, honest, vulnerable, compassionate, empathetic, and forgiving. And to keep learning.
- I'm more focused on myself. I still live with my parents. I'm still single. But these doesn't bother me anymore. I'm continuing to earn and save money. Then I'll move out soon.
- Social media doesn't take over my life anymore. I use it as a tool now. I share my blog. And I sell stuff using FaceBook Marketplace. And I contact and message people.
- On May 5, my mom was able to find the letters written to each of us from my uncle. He was seeking unconditional love and support. We ignored him like everyone else did. The letters were written on December 27, 2004. (He lost my sister's life on May 17, 2003.) But I was mentally unstable when I read it at the time. I had forgiven my uncle in 2018. Rereading my uncle's letter to me was meaningful and powerful. He wasn't able to overcome his loneliness. Because he ended his life in 2008. 
- I came back to playing tennis in January. (I didn't play tennis since I held a grudge to my coach.) It's my cardio. And it has helped me practice and train the mind in competition play. Because I'm alone on the court. And on the other side is my opponent.
- I started my own decluttering/tidying business since June.
- I began meditating for 5 minutes before I sleep every night in June. Then I turned it up a notch in the beginning of September by meditating for 10 minutes to this day. And I'm planning to aim for 15 minutes on December.
- My real estate salesperson exam will be taken on October 7.
​- I enjoy keeping my body fit and strong from lifting weights, hitting tennis, and playing basketball. Then I hit the sauna for 20 minutes to recover.
- I love my body. I see the progress in my body. I've never had a fit body like this before. Taking care of my body is one of my lifestyle habits.

I can see I've changed a lot over these last 4 years. My life and story lives on. I continue to reinvent myself. 

My journey goes on until I die.

My kids or even grandkids can read this blog one day.