"Accidents are unexpected, undesired, unpredicted, anomalies that happen in our systems. They happen without warning," Todd Conklin talks in his podcast episode, Accidents Will Happen. "And what's amazing to me is that we built an entire mythology, and entire focal. I mean a big industry out of this under the belief that every accident is preventable."
Good and bad accidents occur. I never know when they will occur. Because I can't read the future.
When I was a kid, I was taught to always be careful and aware of my surroundings.
What did it mean?
Because I realized I can't escape death.
One of my Bumble dates lost her father from a car accident in 1995. She was only 6 years old at the time.
My tennis and basketball coach dropped dead on his living room carpet on November 2018. His dog barked at him. And was terrified.
I lost my sister from a tragedy on May 17, 2003.
I have never witnessed an accidental death in front of my eyes yet. But I have experienced accidents from personal injuries throughout my life.
I can't avoid any type of accident or injury. And I can't control the outcome. They happen.
Here are my accidents I can remember throughout my lifetime:
- My babysitter offered and introduced me to eat Nerds candy for the first time. I was 5-years-old. It tasted delicious. But it looked like a hard, colorful booger.
I decided to sniff it. And it went stuck in my small nostril. I struggled to breathe.
I was sent to the hospital. And the doctor was able to remove the candy from my nostril.
I was saved by an accident.
(I like to sniff food for the first time before I eat it. It's normal to be curious. If I go overboard in smelling a food, I will snort it. It's being able to experiment the nose.)
- My 7-year-old was running fast in a game of tag during recess. I lost control. I tripped and fell. My head landed into the cement. I was unconscious. I was not able to open my eyes. I only saw darkness. I panicked. I thought I was going to be blind.
Paramedics took me to the hospital. I still could not see. I was hospitalized for about 3-4 days. And then, my vision was able to function.
(I was traumatized. I took a rest from any type of physical activity. 3 years later, I accepted to change when I decided to join the 5th grade basketball team.)
- I almost drowned to death. I think I was 8 years old. My dad found me in pool. And he saved me.
(I've been traumatized from swimming in the deep end. Next week, I'll overcome my fear. I'm going to swim laps in pool.)
-In 1997, I used a pocketknife for the first time to open a box of hardwood flooring. I was 13 years old. I mishandled the knife. And I slashed the tip of my right thumb.
I was in pain. My thumb was bleeding. I applied pressure on it to stop the bleeding. Then I taped and covered the cut with a bandaid.
(Once I open a pocketknife, I use knife's blade side to cut. This action locks and stabilizes it. If I use the dull side, the knife will close to its normal position. And I will get into another accident.)
-I have sprained my ankle numerous times from playing tennis and basketball.
But it doesn't stop me from playing these sports. Because I love tennis and basketball.
My younger-self would recover the sprains from applying ice. And I would rest the pain for a day without any physical activity. Then I would come back playing.
I never took the time to take care of my body whenever it was in pain. Because I believed my young body would only heal through resting.
(As I have grown older, I have found ways to rest, recover, and recharge my body from reading books and listening to podcasts. I have made changes and adjustments to body. I have lengthened the process. And I trust it. Because I'm not getting any younger. This is my lifestyle habit. I stretch first. A physical activity is applied and executed. After my workout, I loosen and soften the muscles using a foam roller. Because muscles are contracted and tightened. My last step is to hit the sauna for 20 minutes. It relaxes my muscles. And it cleans toxins from body.)
Whenever my young-self experienced a horrible accident, I was taught to be safe. Because it might be a sign of death.
I was also taught to be happy in what I do. Whenever bad things happened to me, I was afraid. Because I was blamed and victimized for my faults and mistakes. I hated myself. This made me become a harsh kid.
Being open was a sign of weakness. I was a coward if I decided to ever be vulnerable. I played it safe. And I never changed. I stayed the same. Taking risks were dangerous.
I have grown, adjusted, and adapted from accidents.
Whenever I experience a horrible accident, I live in the moment. I try to calm my mind. I take a deep breath. I'm alive. And breathing. It reminds me I am human. I'm not perfect. And never will be.
My younger-self assumed an accident was always dreadful.
Accidents happen. And it can be okay.
For instance, I was reading a book. I forgot its title. It explained about every human in the world has failed in life. Remember, we have failed in the beginning. We have fallen multiple times as a baby. We were learning how to walk.
Good accidents happen too.
Relationships come unexpectedly. I never know who I will run into. I can't force a relationship. But we might connect.
For instance, I met a 62-year-old man in a sauna. I told him about my lifestyle habits. And he shared what somebody had told him.
Three words for you: Desire, Commitment, and Consistency.
These three words relate to my blog. I started it on 2016. I had the desire to make this blog happen. (Thoughts in my mind. The wants and desires. I want to start on a blog.) I had the commitment to prioritize the blog. (I said I want to start on blog. It's easy to say something. But I must apply and execute it. I was able to do it. I dedicate my time to blog. I choose my time.) I have the consistency to publish one blog entry on Monday nights. (Knowing and trusting the process.)
This blog has opened my horizon. It has allowed me to write and identify whatever is in my mind. Blogging filters the mind. Because the mind is processing.
Another accident happened to me. It went from a horrible accident to a pleasant one.
For instance, my dad wanted to have only one kid. I was an accident. I was unplanned.
My younger-self was disappointed when he told me for the first time.
I'm glad to have heard the news from him. I can't dwell in the past. Because my dad has shown his unconditional love to me as a father.
Another example of an accident from horrible to pleasant is my sister's death. I mentioned it earlier in this blog entry too.
I was upset, confused, angry, mad, hurt, and any other negative feelings you can think of at the top of your head. I was in denial. I could not accept her death.
This was the closest to death behind my head injury (from hitting the cement). Because I was drained mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My body and mind were not able to function and perform for a long time.
I preferred to kill time than enjoy it. Nothing mattered to me.
I had suicidal thoughts racing in my mind. But I chose not to commit suicide. Because my family, friends, and relatives were already crying, grieving and mourning.
I was able to forgive my uncle last year. It took me 15 years. I wrote a letter to him in one of my previous blog entries. Because I practiced to be humble and grateful from blogging since 2016. And hearing stories from Jon's travel life.
My accidents have shaped me into becoming a better, stronger person to this day. I have learned from my accidents. I am able to make changes and adjustments for the next time.
I used to hate accidents. And I avoided to talk about it. Because I wanted to be perfect.
Accidents will happen. It's impossible to prevent it from happening. I can only go with what I can control. All I can do is live in the moment. And I continue on rewriting my story.
Because everybody has a story to tell.