176) Giving

Giving a pose to you at Real Alcazar de Sevilla, Espana

It is an offering.

Many means and ways of giving.

When I was a kid, I was taught to never talk to strangers. Because I might get kidnapped, molested, or killed. (They never said that. But you can see why.) I avoided beggars asking for help. (It made me look down upon them.) I only earned money through gifts, chores, and allowances from family, friends, and relatives.

And received any brand new material goods, like toys, given to me from family, friends, and relatives. (Brand new material goods were purchased from money too.) I witnessed this way and mean of giving and receiving based on my childhood experience.

​I became what I saw and heard.  

"I think money is important. And I do really want to hear your reasons for that," Travis talks about it with his friend, Brandon, in their podcast episode, The Importance of Giving. "But maybe to just keep in mind as we move forward. You also can give up your time, effort, attention, love, and talent as well."

I was told to give more than receive. Every time, I was offered a gift. I was taught to not accept it right away.

Let's say you give me a gift now.

"You didn't need to give me a gift. It's okay," I would tell you.

And I would continue talking about a minute to deny your gift. I was taught to show how much I care about you more than your gift.

One minute has finished.

​"Thank you for the gift. But you didn't need to give it to me," I would tell you.

My younger-self loved to receive more than give. But I would not show it to you. Because I was taught about it as a sign of weakness.

I have realized to be grateful for the gift.

"Thank you for the gift. I appreciate it," I tell you now.

I have a different perspective in giving now.

I am not interested in receiving or giving gifts anymore. Because I like to declutter. Receiving and giving gifts does not matter to me anymore. I am happy enough to see your presence.

I cannot control or change you. Go with what you want. It's your choice. It's your life. But I do know a man who likes to give. He expects and assumes you must keep his gifts forever.

For instance, he gave me a desk when I was a kid. A few months ago, I gave it away to Justin from FaceBook Marketplace. Justin is recently divorced. He lives with his mom now. And he needed the desk more than me.

My desk was only used as a storage. It was cluttered with material goods. I never used it to read a book, or anything else. The desk deserved to be given to Justin.

The man couldn't believe this story. He was still hurt from me giving it away. He assumed I was throwing away his gift. 

I have been selling used material goods on FaceBook Marketplace since last November.

"The most effective way to reduce waste is to not create it in the first place. Making a new product requires a lot of materials and energy - raw materials must be extracted from the earth, and the product must be fabricated then transported to wherever it will be sold," United States Environmental Protection Agency writes about reducing and reusing. "As a result, reduction and reuse are the most effective ways you can save natural resources, protect the environment, and save money."

I give what my customer wants. I notify and specify the product to them. I tell them where I have picked it up from, such as "free stuff" on Craiglist, or neighborhood. If they are dissatisfied with their product, they can return it for a full refund.  

I like to help people.  

For instance, I was on my way to a grocery store. A young couple (probably in their mid-20s) approached me when I parked my car. Jordan and Samantha needed $40 for a bus ride. They were stranded in Vallejo for almost the whole day.

I told them I'll get my bottle of beer and wine first. I was processing too. And they understood.

I came back to my car. Samantha was not around. She was begging for money somewhere nearby.

I found Jordan. He told me people ignored and rejected him and his girlfriend. He was crying in front of my eyes. I gave him a hug. (I like to give people hugs.) And I decided to let him follow me as I withdrew $40 at the ATM.

Jordan and I found Samantha. They had to hit the bus station as soon as possible. And they were grateful for meeting me.

"I used to give. Because I expected something or anything in return. I only give, if I like and choose to give," I told them. "That's how I see it. I give for the heart now."

​I gave them a hug as we parted ways.

I like to inspire people too.

For instance, my friend, Jon, reads my blog. And he decided to start on his blog as well. I was waiting for him to utilize his writing skills. He has unleashed his talent. I think I am one of the people to influence him. My ego is talking now. I already had told him about this. If I can start on a blog, anyone can too. (Yuh, it's about time for Jon. We choose our time.)  

"I think nothing goes wrong when you don't have any expectation. I think people have a lot of things going wrong. Because they fucking expected something. It's why  people struggle with giving," Gary Vaynerchuk talks in his podcast episode, My Definition of Giving. "Giving is giving on the person that you are giving it to in terms, not yours. The amount of giving that is being done in the world that is disguised as manipulation to get something you want after you give. (It) is the reason that giving has cynicism around it. It's not giving. It's manipulation." 

Vaynerchuk talks about his book, Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook, in podcast episode too.

"I wrote a book for a very specific reason. I thought the best way to market is to give, give, give, and then, ask, and not expect," he continues. "Not give, give, give, and take. When you give, you give. When you're asking, you're asking."   

​I am giving my time to you. We choose our time, again. I am writing this blog to you. Because I like sharing my story to you or anyone.

A few people messaged and commented me after they read one of my recent blog entries, My Uncle's Letter. It saddened them. They cried. They were able to share their empathy and compassion to me.

It's the art of sharing, giving, and communicating.

I feel loved and touched whenever we share, give, and communicate to each other. We need to bring love and joy to each other. For instance, Simon Sinek agrees we need each other in his book, Leaders Eat Last:  Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't.

​Meeting new people is a sign of giving too. For instance, I am giving the time to know you at sauna. Introducing myself in a sauna or anywhere during any time of the day is a sign of giving.

Whenever and wherever I meet anyone, I like to ask and listen. This avoids empowerment. Ask is to be curious as listen is to be patient.

For instance, I decided to ask and listen at the gym. I was curious to hear a story from a homeless-man. I didn't lecture or judge him. He is my friend's uncle. So he's my uncle too. My friend has tried helping his uncle to be mindful as well.

My uncle did stay at my auntie's home for a long time. But he admits he didn't go by her house rules. So she had to let him go. He has nothing against her. 

I told him a short story about myself.

I live with my parents. And I have to somewhat follow their rules. I love my parents. I am thankful for them. But I have to move out soon. So I can start a family. And learn how to become more independent. First, I am focused on earning money. Then, growing it later. I know what I want now. I must apply and execute it. And take it, step-by-step.

My uncle has been starting on a business to consult engineering students for the future. Because he did graduate from engineering in the Philippines. But he has a difficult time to find clients.

He gets his money from Social Security as a senior citizen. 

He lives at the gym during the day. He's on the waiting list to live at a senior living community, Legacy at Sonoma.

I'll see him again at the gym. We already have exchanged our cell phone numbers. I would like to hear more about him.    

I also like to give myself a "calm mind, a fit body, and a house full of love" from Naval's podcast episode. This is the key to my life. It relates to my priorities. 

​"These things cannot be bought. They must be earned. Even if you have all the money in the world, you can't have those three things," Naval talks.

Thank you for giving (and taking) your time to read this.