189) Happiness

Carquinez Bridge, Vallejo, California

"Pleasure is short-term, addictive and selfish. It's taken, not given. It works on dopamine," Seth Godin writes in his blog entry, The pleasure/happiness gap. "Happiness is long-term, additive and generous. It's giving, not taking. It works on serotonin."

My younger-self would be confused with pleasure and happiness. I thought they were related.

​Then I was always seeking and wishing for pleasure than happiness. I believed it would fulfill me. And I was aiming to please myself, and especially, others.

I wanted to be known. My desire was to be better than you. My goal was to be the happiest guy in the world. Because I thought it would cure me from everything.

My younger-self wasn't able to resolve any of my problems or mistakes.

I kept dreaming and relying for a pretty wife and cute children, a luxury car, a mansion, and a high-paying job. Because I needed an escape from life. I was waiting for a final destination.

This was pleasure. My younger-self assumed it was happiness.

My happiness is:

• Being able to train and practice the mind every single day.
• Showing gratitude to my family, friends, and relatives.
• Exercising myself to be at peace.
• Connecting with people.
• Inspiring others.
• Resting, recovering, and recharging body and mind.
• Having tolerance and patience to others.
• Staying healthy.
• Reinventing myself.
• Appreciating life.
• Enjoying nature.

I didn't add money in list. Because it can't buy happiness. And money can't bring my sister back from the dead.

I need money in order to live.

I believe money will come to me through my happiness. I'm not expecting to be rich right away. Or in the future. (My younger-self would have my high hopes up every time I started something new.)

Being rich isn't my number one priority in life.

I explain more about money in my previous blog entry, My Relationship with Money.

I continue on what I like to do, such as tidying and decluttering homes. And selling material goods from FaceBook Marketplace. I like to satisfy and connect with my clients.

The real estate salesperson is in the works. I'm planning to take the exam later this month in order to be licensed. It'll be my second time to take it. Because I failed last time.

I've been assisting a broker, who is my friend's dad.

I also didn't add partner in list.

My younger-self would think getting a girlfriend will complete me. I expected having one would make me happy. She would please and fix me. And I would impress others.

"When you make your happiness your partner's responsibility, you're asking a flawed individual to be perfect in that one area of their life," Eric Turner writes in his blog entry, Your Partner Is Not Responsible For Your Happiness.

I still would like to have a partner. And I won't pursue her to just make me grow, evolve, or change. Because I don't want her to be my crutch.

I have to figure it out myself in order to grow, evolve, or change.

​(I have already written letters to my future girlfriend. They are old blog entries: A Letter to Her, and Another Letter to Her. I'll be writing an updated version soon.)

"If you want your partner to always say positive things about you & approve of everything you do, then you don't really want a romantic partner. You want a puppet," Neil Strauss tweeted. "You are not perfect and everything you do is not always right. A loving partner will always tell you that...lovingly."

I feel excited whenever I meet an attractive woman for the first time.

For instance, I like this beautiful lady. She travels, podcasts, writes, and blogs. She's a gem. She seems willing to learn and change every day. That's what I like in a lady. We have common interests.

My younger-self would agree we are meant to be. (Because society would tell me that.) And I do have thoughts about it in my mind too.

I can't just say, "She's the one."

(Respect the lady. Give the lady freedom to choose.)

I have feelings. I'm human.

I'm labeling my emotion about her to you. I must resolve it.

​I have to realize I can't always get what I want. The relationship has to grow first. And I can't force it.

I can say whatever. I have no idea. Who knows?

I can't oversee the future. And regretting the past won't go anywhere.

The past is remembered. Live in the moment. The future is in me.

Money comes. And the partner might come one day.

Life is an up and down journey. And my happiness tries to live on.