175) I am Processing

I insert my debit card's chip facing up into ATM machine. And I leave it until machine tells me to remove it.

Because the machine is processing its transaction.

I observe a man being frustrated. His phone is loading slow as he surfs the web. (I remember dialup connection was slow. It started from the 1980s to 1990s. We are used to high speed internet.) He keeps refreshing it. But his phone is not able to load the page.

Because his phone is processing.

My friend tells me a story of how he met a cute lady in Asia. It's similar to a romantic comedy movie. They both like each other. But time and distance are in the way. Because she is already seeing somebody. Relationships do come unexpectedly. He respects the lady. He'll be leaving. And he can't do anything. My friend will talk to me more about his story later.

Because he is processing.

​I deadlift a career high at 275 pounds at only one rep. (I weigh 144 pounds.) I prevail it with an ugly form. After I finish the rep, I stop for a moment.

Because my mind (and body) is processing.

A friend sends me pictures of his delicious food in Malaysia. The number, 22:01, appears on my phone. I tell him you are only sending me videos. Because it is a duration time. I open the message. But 22:01 is when he sends it on my phone. (I set my phone as military time or 24-hour clock.)

Because my mind is processing. 

​During a hike, I like to stop and explore my surroundings. I also like to contemplate and ponder about life.

Because my mind is processing.

I insert my debit card's chip facing up into ATM machine. And I leave it until machine tells me to remove it.

Because the machine is processing its transaction.

I observe a man being frustrated. His phone is loading slow as he surfs the web. (I remember dialup connection was slow. It started from the 1980s to 1990s. We are used to high speed internet.) He keeps refreshing it. But his phone is not able to load the page.

Because his phone is processing.

My friend tells me a story of how he met a cute lady in Asia. It's similar to a romantic comedy movie. They both like each other. But time and distance are in the way. Because she is already seeing somebody. Relationships do come unexpectedly. He respects the lady. He'll be leaving. And he can't do anything. My friend will talk to me more about his story later.

Because he is processing.

​I deadlift a career high at 275 pounds at only one rep. (I weigh 144 pounds.) I prevail it with an ugly form. After I finish the rep, I stop for a moment.

Because my mind (and body) is processing.

A friend sends me pictures of his delicious food in Malaysia. The number, 22:01, appears on my phone. I tell him you are only sending me videos. Because it is a duration time. I open the message. But 22:01 is when he sends it on my phone. (I set my phone as military time or 24-hour clock.)

Because my mind is processing. 

​During a hike, I like to stop and explore my surroundings. I also like to contemplate and ponder about life.

Because my mind is processing.

"Sit reasonably in a quiet place. And close your eyes. Second step is to bring in your full attention of the feeling of your breath coming in and going out usually to whatever it's most prominent. Your nose, your chest, or your belly. And the third step is the key," Dan Harris talks about mindfulness in meditation in Matt D'Avella's podcast episode, Reprogram Your Mind. "Because as soon as you try do this. Your mind is gonna go bonkers. And the whole goal is just to notice when you become distracted. And to start again and again and again and again. And in that moment (many people) when they (see) have become distracted, they think they have failed. Actually, that is a victory. That is the victory. It's a victory of real consequences. Because when you see how crazy you are, you are less owned by the craziness."

Because the mind is processing.

Processing occurs whenever and wherever my mind is able to accept, realize, and live at the moment. The mind is loading. And I give time for it. Because the mind runs and operates everything in body.

Processing has allowed me to be patient. It needs time to function and perform for the next task. I choose my time. I decide my priorities.

"I realized if I can't concentrate. I can't solve my problems. I can't stay with my problems long enough in order to get to a solution," Dandapani talks in Cal Fussman's podcast episode, On Learning to Concentrate. "How can I excel? How can I be a great flute player? Or soccer player? Or football? Or whatever it is if I can't focus? If every 2 seconds, my awareness is going somewhere else. So concentration is at the heart of every human achievement and endearment."

Dandapani believes anybody can concentrate. But it depends on your desire (and willing) to change.

"If you don't understand how the mind works, you can't concentrate. Understanding how the mind works," he continues. "Then, learning to be able to concentrate. Mind first. And then concentration."    

​Processing has also given me a better understanding about multi-tasking.

​"Multi-tasking doesn't exist. I can give 100% focus to 1 thing, some simultaneous focus on 2 things," Simon Sinek tweeted. "3 or more & they all suffer."

For instance, I listen to a podcast while I clean room. I write this blog while I listen to instrumental music from composer and pianist, Marika Takeuchi. These are an exception.

I can't text message on phone and surf web on MacBook and eat greek yogurt at the same time. The mind and body overloads. I used to do this.

​I prefer my mind to relax, adjust, and modify. I am able to set my priorities and plans in an efficient and simple way. And it reminds me to live in the moment.

I always dwelled in the past. And worried about the future. Dwelling and worrying expended my energy. I was always in a rush. I believed I must hurry to get everything completed. I was told you must work a lot to be more productive. I was taught to choose quantity over quality.

But it drained my mind (and body) mentally, physically, and emotionally. I never reached at my full potential.

​We live in a fast-paced society.

I observe and scope my surroundings as I am processing. I used to judge others. It's the art of curiosity. 

For instance, I observed a woman waiting in line to order her food. The restaurant was busy. She was bored. She used her phone as a "security blanket," until it was her turn to order.

My friend and I walked to the theaters. I saw a group of children sitting on a bench. They were busy on their phones. Nobody interacted or talked to each other.

Technology has its benefits too. It has evolved and grown right in front of my eyes.

For instance, I am writing this blog to you. And I am communicating to you. I share this blog through my FaceBook, Instagram, and Twitter. You are able to read it, if you have any access to high-speed internet.

My blog averages about 500-700 unique visitors every week. My ego is talking now. Thank you to the Internet, and Weebly.

A friend asked me, "What are you thinking about? Are you okay?"
He saw me quiet. And I was not using my phone. (I avoid using my phone when I'm with a friend or anyone.)
"I am processing," I told him.

I have developed a sense of mindfulness in processing, even though I rarely meditate. (I will start meditating tonight before I sleep. And set my timer for 5 minutes. I would like to meditate. And apply it as one of my daily habits.) I need to. Because I hear thoughts, emotions, inner-voices, and feelings in my mind. They are either negative or positive. 

(It is normal. Everybody has it. We are human.)

They come. And they only go when I talk to my mind.  I ask questions to myself. And I find a way to resolve or take it.

I hated hearing negativity in my mind. I decided to always filter it. I would forget about the negativity. But it would get worst. The mind can't forget. Because I can't just turn it off, like a light switch.

Trying to forget takes its toll. Every time I went to bed, they would come racing in my mind to the point where I can't sleep.

​I enjoyed and loved hearing positivity in my mind. But my ego would take over. 

"Right now, my books, and everything I've written has been a huge hit. And at some point in my life, I'm gonna write something that's not a huge hit. And if I'm not prepare for that," Mark Manson talks about his book, Everything is F*cked:  A Book about Hope, in the Jordan Harbinger Show. "You can already tell that I've already analyzed this narrative in my brain. If I just told myself, 'I'm a hit author. And everything I write sells like fucking hotcakes.' The second something doesn't. It would cause an identity crisis."

Good and bad happen in life, such as the yin-yang symbol from Taoism. No matter I like it or not. I cannot control the outcome. 

"Taoists believe that living in harmony with the way. A person will not have to fight against the universe's natural flow," John Bellaimey narrates and talks in TED-Ed.

Time never stops. My story will stop once I die, while life lives and continues on.    

I'll end this blog entry.

Because I am processing.