96) I Am Too Harsh On Myself

I want to become the best person I can be. Also, I want to be perfect.

Then again, nobody is perfect. Relax, Mikey. Take it easy.

I am too harsh on myself. (Yes, I was depressed late last year. For the reason that, I was jealous by everybody's social media with their lovers. I called myself, "A lonely blogger." Most importantly, I am better now.)

One of my good friends did tell me something like, "If you keep rolling your eyes, you are overthinking. One way to relax is to look downward at your nose. Keep your eyes still. Then, lift the tip of your tongue. Have your tongue touch your palate (roof of your mouth) as you slowly take 3 deep breaths.

Here is a list below on my harshness:

• I like this girl but she is taken now. On my jealous side, her boyfriend is not that handsome. She can deserve better.
• In basketball, I get frustrated when I miss two straight open jump shots. Now, I do not want to settle for a jump shot anymore.
• I rarely get successful matches on online dating apps, such as Bumble and Tinder. It gets frustrating.
• (This could have been a longer list when I was depressed late last year. Oh, well.)

Lately, I have been meditating. One of my good friends recommended me it.

He said, "Meditation manages his mind."

Most importantly, meditation has lightened my harshness.

​Here is a list below on my improved harshness compared to the list above:

• He is a lucky guy. In her own eyes, she sees him as a handsome, caring man.
• In basketball, I take a deep breath after I miss an open jump shot. (Yes, it is still in my head.) Now, I have taken more jump shots than ever before. Most importantly, I read the defense. If the defender guards me tight, I drive towards the basket. If the defender guards me loose, I settle for the jump shot.
• I must understand a successful match on Bumble and Tinder does not exactly go anywhere for me. Slowly understanding the full step-by-step process, such as match, connect, then go on a date. I remind myself by saying, "Do not let it take over your life. You have other ways to meet girls, other than online dating apps." Patience is the key.

Let it be. Be free. (I cannot control the outcome.)