149) I Speak at Coach's Vigil Service

Recently, I lost a loved one, my coach. He died unexpectedly.

(The last time I lost somebody so close to me was my sister in 2003. She died unexpectedly as well.)

I have known him, since 2006. Everything is a rush for me.

He made me become a better basketball, and tennis player.

Now, he's not here anymore. That's new for me. It takes a while to accept that he is gone. I am better now than my previous days.

It is not always easy to say, "Live in the moment,' when your loved one dies. I am human. I have feelings.

Earlier tonight, I was strong enough to open up about my strong relationship with Coach in his vigil service. I feel much better now.

What I said during his vigil service:

• Coach hated funerals, and vigils. I used to hate them as well. I look at them differently now. I see empathy, and unconditional love, when I attend funerals and vigils.
• The people ahead of me, such as his son, daughter, long-time tennis buddy, and niece, shared their stories and moments with him. We calmly, patiently heard them speak. When they cried, we were in tears. That's empathy.
• Coach had a family, and tennis circle. The circles comes together in one big circle. It is a sense of unity. This is unconditional love. (I explain more about funerals and vigils in my previous blog entry, "Funerals.")  
• ​I am not used to talking a lot when Coach is around. Now, I am here talking. 
• ​I met him in 2006. I saw him at a tennis court. While I was done hitting with a friend, he approached me. He started talking about his tennis coaching, and how he taught his kids to become great college tennis players.
• I am glad to have come at peace with him before he passed away. (It was on September 24. He passed away on November 4.) I held a 3-year grudge to him in 2015.
• Coach was in the middle between me and my cousins. He was the third-party to the point where he had to hear two sides of us venting to him. I believe he was criticizing me. Thus, I held a 3-year grudge to him. I was hurt. (As we were reconciling, I brought this up to him.)
• During my trip in China, I met an old lady traveler from London. She told me, "I held a grudge to my father for a very long time. When he died, I saw a letter written from him to me. It was an apology letter." I told him this story about my British lady friend, and her father. He said, "I do not wanna lose our friendship. Our friendship values more." I told him, "Grudges ain't worth it." We both agreed.
• This powerful story made me come at peace to everybody, especially coach. No more enemies. No more grudges.​
• After September 24, we hung out together here and there.
• Coach and I always talked about basketball, and tennis. We watched and played these sports together. 
• Coach introduced me the word, "Killer instinct," in tennis, and especially in life. Having the ability to overcome, and bounce back in tough situations. 
• His favorite basketball player when he was growing up was Golden State Warriors legend, Rick Barry. He enjoyed how Rick Barry, and his squad won a championship in 1975. 
• He loved Stephen Curry. Recently, he hated it when Steph kept passing the ball to his teammate, Klay Thompson, to break his record in the most 3-pointers made in a game. Klay broke it with 14 3's in that game.
• He loved professional tennis player, Roger Federer, how he mixes it up. He would have his opponents guessing in his different variety shot-making. 
• It's not always about me. Not only me, he touched everybody's heart as well.

I had a lot more to say, but I was lagging and processing. So, I stopped.

I forgot to end it, and say this, "Coach, I am gonna get emotional with you. I know you hate it. I love you, Coach."