186) My Experience with Picking Up Women

I posted an old blog entry, The Game is in my Blood, on February 12, 2018.

​It's about picking up women too.

But this is the updated version of it. Because I have grown and evolved from meeting women.

​I have always been nice to girls throughout my life. But I never expressed my feelings to them right away.

They never came to me.

My 26-year-old self decided to learn how to pick up women in 2012.

Because I felt isolated from the world. And I thought being single was abnormal.

"You're not actually connected with yourself," Sasha talks in his 5-minute YouTube video shown below. "You're not in alignment with who you are. You're not clear about what you want. You're just confused and lost. And you’re horny."

His video explained what "pick-up" taught me.

And I'll add more to it.

"Pick-up" pressured me to approach women right away before it's too late. Because I'll never see one of them again. And one of them might be my future wife.

For instance, I saw many attractive women in Vegas. My mind couldn't handle the pressure. It was too much. I stopped at the moment. "Pick-up" would say I have failed. Negative thoughts would take over my mind: "You are a sore loser." "You are a coward." "It's your loss."

​"Pick-up" forced me to approach women right away even if I was busy talking to a friend, family, relative, or anyone.

​For instance, I approached one right away in front of my conservative Uncle. He couldn't believe it in his eyes. He had never seen it before. But he was against it. He was worried and concerned about his surroundings. He was embarrassed and ashamed to be near me.

I hurt him. But I didn't care. Because "pick-up" told me to.

"Pick-up" pushed me to ignore everyone around me except women.

For instance, I was concentrated at chasing women. I didn't take the time to hangout with my friend Kirby. I did shut him down in my life at the time. I held a grudge at him.

I got the worst from "pick-up."

For instance, Kirby's sister told me her cousin's friend Faye will be coming over at their house. Faye was visiting from San Diego. I liked her. I arrived at the house. I dressed to impress her.

Then Kirby arrived from work. He was surprised. And he gave me a dirty stare. Then he walked away.

(I was able to apologize to Kirby at that night. We reconciled with each other. And I left without even talking to Faye. That was the right thing to do.)

"Pick-up" taught me to say whatever to women, such as any type of profanity or obscenity. I would say it with confidence. And I would stay my ground.

It backfired.

For instance, I liked Coach's family friend Lisa. I said a vulgar statement on the phone to her. Coach was embarrassed and disappointed. He was never for my "pick-up." And Lisa felt disrespected by my statement.

I was called a "piranha" from Coach.

Another worst from "pick-up" happened.

I started the 3-year grudge from Coach.

I was self-centered from doing "pick-up." I only aimed for meeting attractive women. I continued going to the next one whenever I was rejected. I was focused on brainwashing and manipulating women to having sex with me. That was my ultimate goal.

I realized I never became myself. I was always chasing the ultimate goal.

I was able to come at peace with Coach last year.

I told Coach: "I know you were never for my 'pick-up.' I respect it. And I respect you. You were right. I was selfish. It's understanding who people are. And making adjustments. I was able to get out of my comfort zone for the first time in my life from learning "pick-up." I also learned how to overcome my fear from social anxiety by it. "Pick-up" showed me failure and rejection. I can apply these lessons to life. It's interconnected and connected. I am able to engage in any conversation to anyone. I was able to coach at a tennis academy, and travel overseas alone. Yuh I still like to talk to women. But I'm able to train my mind. I'm not the 'piranha' you saw before. I am in control now. I won't be pressured or forced anymore. When you're around, I won't talk to one. When I'm alone, I'll talk to one if I choose to. I go with the flow now. I approach a woman by giving them a compliment. Then I ask and listen. I want to hear more from her. And I’ll ask for her number too. I feel more relaxed than ever before. The blogging, traveling, and coaching have helped me along this journey. I like to be honest and vulnerable. This is the most I've talked to you. You would be the one talking a lot."

"I'm glad you have changed," Coach told me. "I'm happy for you."

(He died 3 months later. RIP Coach.)

"Pick-up" did shape me who I am today. I was able to find my self-love, self-purpose, and self-identity in life throughout this journey.

A travel buddy Janine told me to love myself first in order to love others. I'm able to love others. No more enemies. No more grudges. My purpose in life is to be grateful, compassionate, empathetic, honest, vulnerable, and forgiving. And to keep learning.

This is my identity now.