185) My Relationship with Money

I like to spend money in exploring breweries. Taken at Three Mile Brewing, Davis, CA. And behind me is a tennis shop too. Yuh cheers.

I need money in order to live and survive.

​I was told to study and work hard. And money will come to me.

I graduated from Sonoma State University with a BS degree in Environmental Studies. I do not want to pursue it.

I have worked multiple part-time jobs throughout my life. I have never experienced working any type of full-time job. My younger-self would be embarrassed and ashamed about it. Because of society. And a full-time job provides benefits.

I like to work in an efficient way (to the point where I don't need 40 hours a week). I stay healthy. I'll start investing in my money once I reach a good amount of capital. And benefits from a full-time job won't be needed. 

I was told to get a girl. You need money. You must impress her.

I approached a girl 5 years ago in Vegas. At the time, I was working at Pizza Guys as a pizza delivery driver. I didn't wear any type of formal clothes to impress her. I only wore a tank top with shorts and flip flops. We remain in contact to each other here and there. We like each other. And we care about each other. But we don't want to label.

I was taught to follow the American Dream.

Back in 1931, James Truslow Adams first wrote about the American Dream in his book, Epic of America. He wrote about it as "that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement."

My younger-self always wished, dreamed, and prayed about having a great future. I wanted a mansion, beautiful wife and adorable children, luxury car, and etc.

I assumed money will fix and complete me. I thought money would fulfill my happiness. And I was seeking attention and validation to others.

I envied the rich people.

"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer," Jim Carrey once said. 

I wanted to overtop others by owning newer and better possessions. For instance, I owned a huge collection of sneakers. Call it outer-confidence.

Possessions won't last forever. They'll age. And be replaced. Or be left forgotten somewhere in home.

For instance, I run a decluttering business. And I found a lot of possessions hidden and forgotten in my client's home.

My younger-self would buy a material good whenever I was depressed or sad. Call it retail therapy.

More purchased goods, more clutter. Everything won't be able to fit either in my burial casket or cremation urn.

Money doesn't solve everything or anything. And it will never be.

Because I lost a sister. And money can't get her back from the dead.  

Money can never been given to me.

​Only my parents do. That's an exception. I don't ask and beg money for them. (I used to.) They just give it to me. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

My younger-self would always rely on my parents. I would beg and ask them for money every time I was broke. I would always pay hard and beg hard. It was unhealthy. 

I would brag or impress others in what I bought. But I never realized the money came from my parents. I never acknowledged them.

For instance, a man is borrowing a lot of money from his older brother for a home. I don't think he would tell others about this situation. It goes back with outer-confidence. And I doubt he'll pay back his brother. If he does, it won't be right away. 

I can say "he could've, would've, and should've" bought a cheaper home he can afford.

I can only go with what I can control. It's the money from the older brother. It's his decision. And their agreement.

I still live with my parents. But I don't feel pressured anymore to purchase a home until I am financially stable. I'm grateful and thankful to have caring parents.  

One time, I stopped begging and asking money from my parents. I was in desperate mode. I tried selling a ceramic art using Craigslist. (This was before FB Marketplace existed. And this was one of my first items to sell online.) And a buyer emailed me.

We were exchanging messages. (This was our only contact.) I followed everything he said to me. I wired $1,000 to the person. I was tricked and scammed. This happened some time in 2010.

​My younger-self was obsessed in owning and needing money. My life was over whenever I was broke. I was always hungry for money. It took control of me.

​I see money as good and bad. It's a balance. Same goes with life. 

I like to see, observe, and scope on how people manage and spend their money.

Another example is my cousin wants a manual car.

His automatic car is in good condition. 

"I used to always prefer to drive stick. Because it was for show," I told him. "Now I don't care. Whatever takes me from point A to point B. I'm fine."

I know a man who gives his money to his family every time he visits the Philippines. He feels sorry for his poor family. And he believes his money can change them.

No change from his family every time the man comes back to see them.

He has built an identity to himself as a money giver to his family. And they expect to receive his money every time the man visits. It's a cycle. 

The man vents and regrets on how much money he has given to his family every time he comes back home.

​Giving is an offering.

"I don't believe in giving people money," Robert Kiyosaki talks. "In Sunday school (you learn) that if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life; but you give him a fish, you feed him for a day."

I prefer to tell people stories and examples than to give them money. 

I'm on cruise control. I remain calm. (Hear my monotone voice as you read this blog entry. It goes with the tone of my voice.) Money will hurt me along the way one day. That's normal. I'm human. I have feelings.

My relationship with money is better than how my younger-self dealt and coped with it.

I choose having the time to connect with someone than to buy a material good.

Every day I like to take the time to talk to anyone. Because it's priceless.

"A calm mind, a fit body, and a house full of love. These things cannot be bought. They must be earned," Naval talks in his podcast. "Even if you have all the money in the world. You can't have those 3 things."

You decide where you want your money to go. The mind talks. And the body decides.