142) My Sister's Day

1989. East Meadow, NY. My sister was 5 years old, while I was 2 years old.

For those of you, who do not know already, my sister was gone in 2003. I already have written many blog entries about my sister. (Find my search box, and type "sister" on it.)

15 years has already passed.

Today, I am listening to her music, such as NSYNC, Justin Timberlake, Phantom Planet, The Calling, Lifehouse, Michelle Branch, Avril Lavigne, Boxcar Racer, Blink 182, Incubus, Coldplay, and many more. (I gotta start creating her music playlist. Instead of typing for a song one at a time to listen.)

​This is my first time to do this. From now on, I will start listening to her music playlist every September 25. 

For the reason that, I was not ready to listen to her music continuously for hours, especially on her birthday. I was in tears. I was not brave enough.

Music is powerful. Every time I listen to her music, I remember the moments with my sister.

When she died, I was always dreaming about her. I had difficulty in sleeping though. It took me a very long time to accept her death. Whenever I was asleep, she was alive in my dreams. Whenever I was awake, I was in huge denial.

Other than unconditional love from my friends and family, my sister in my dreams saved me. I could have been dead. For the reason that, I had many thoughts in my head about countless suicidal attempts. Perhaps, my sister was worried and concerned about me. Thank you, sister.

Again, look at the picture of me and my sister. Ironically, we are closing our eyes together. Reality and dream come together.    

Her music will never be outdated to me. 

Happy birthday, Sister. I love you.