173) Priorities

Wearing polarized shades at Artesa Vineyards & Winery, Napa, CA

I sleep about 8 hours every night. I take a nap for about an hour or two every day.

​One day is 24 hours. About 10 hours of my time is from sleeping. My body needs to rest, recover, and recharge in order to function and perform. And I am left with 14 hours in day.

It is being able to train my mind every single day, or else I will not be able to prioritize and minimize my time efficiently. (That is now a top priority in my life.)

Because I choose my time.

​Every day is a challenge.

I was first introduced about priorities by reading Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism:  The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. (I read it about a month ago. I am slowly applying it.)

"Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it's about how to get the right things done. It doesn't mean just doing less for the sake of less either," McKeown writes. "It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential."

I started decluttering last November. It has taught me how to let go of my material goods. And to choose which is still worth keeping in my life.

Decluttering my stuff relates to prioritizing my time as well. Both allow my mind to process and decide. I used to be always reliable to my family, friends, relatives, and anybody else.

Whenever they needed a favor right away, I was there. For instance, I replied instantly from a text message, phone call, or any means of communication. 

Because I wanted to please everybody. But it is impossible.

I am understanding my priorities in life now.

For instance, a man knew I was not going anywhere today. He wanted to teach me how to replace the kitchen faucet. The man needed assistance too. He assumed I was available.

And I told him to schedule it on Monday. A few minutes later, he decided to replace faucet alone. He probably thought I was gonna assist him. 

But I was busy studying for realtor state exam. (Because I failed last Wednesday. I did not study hard enough. That was my fault. It is changing my study habits. And making adjustments too.)

After he finished replacing the faucet, I told him I thought we are going to do it on Monday. I explained to him my priorities are slowly changing from a book I read. 

"The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years," McKeown also writes.

Saying yes to everybody made me forget about myself. I was more focused on others than myself. It limited my performance, productivity, and ability.

You can say whatever you want to me. At the end of the day, it's up to me.

I never talked about my priorities in life at all. I was always on autopilot. I assumed everything I did was already a priority.

My priorities in life are my mind, self-care, personal growth, relationships, health, work, and family. (This is my first time to talk about what exactly are my priorities in life.)

​The mind connects with everything.

For instance, I was depressed when my sister died. Everything fell apart. I was in denial. I rarely ate. I lost a lot of weight. I stayed away from people. I needed space. I chose to be alone (all the time). Most importantly, I was not able to train my mind at a difficult time. 

​I was listening to a podcast episode, "Priorities, " from The Minimalists. Two friends, Ryan Nicodemus, and Joshua Fields Millburn, agree we must prioritize our time.

(They first introduced me to decluttering by their documentary movie, "The Minimalist." I talked about it in my previous blog entry, "Decluttering.")

"It is a commitment," Ryan Nicodemus talks.

"In order for it to be a priority, something else must be removed in the table," Joshua Fields Millburn adds.

It goes similar to Simon Sinek's book, Leaders Eat Last:  Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't. He says you can't remove old habits. The only way is to replace them.

For instance, I always had my phone near me. (It was almost attached to my body. It was another body part.) Now, I have replaced its habit by placing my phone far away from me. Whenever I open my phone, I always check its screen time. It monitors my usage. And this new habit limits myself from using phone.

Life is a challenge every day. It's a test for me to decide. No such thing as the perfect answer. Because I will never know "it" all. But it's being able to learn, scope, and observe my flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses.

For instance, my friend was surprised about me being persistent to a lady. I messaged her on Instagram here and there. I asked her out multiples times. But she was always busy. She finally told me she only sees me as a friend.

Respect the lady.

"Who is your celebrity crush?" my friend asked me. 

"Jhené  Aiko," I answered.

"If Jhené asked you out for dinner, what would you tell her?" he asked me.

"Yes," I answered. 

My friend believes I can find a better lady. He likes my humor. And how I approach women. He also believes I can do better than just chase one lady. And be persistent to her. 

"Thanks, bro. You make a good point. It goes with prioritizing and minimizing my time," I told him with a fist pump.

Are you willing to change and become a better person every day? Or stay the same person to play it safe? 

Because (again) we choose our time.